Monday, October 19, 2009

"Living Will"

Yeah, it’s part of the surgery process. There are apparently legal problems if you haven’t specified in writing that you’d prefer not to live out your days as a turnip.

Which reminds me of this cartoon idea I had once. I may have mentioned it before, but current conditions propel it into my consciousness. Please forgive the repetition. And if I haven’t mentioned it before, please forgive the memory loss.


A single-panel cartoon.

I’m dead and I arrive at heaven. Wait, let’s not personalize this.

A man’s dead and he arrives at heaven. The thing is, he checked off the box permitting organ donations. As a result, the man reaches the pearly gates, minus his eyes, his heart, his lungs and his kidneys. In the cartoon, these deletions would be represented by black organ-shaped holes in the appropriate locations.

The man hears lively chatter all around him, tennis being played in the background. From the visual depiction, we imagine jaunty exchanges, like, “Throw me the football!” and “You look radiant, today!” Absorbing this auditory information (his viewing apparatus now elsewhere), the man quickly senses that the inhabitants of heaven have retained all their organs, whereas he, in his generosity, has not.

One hyphenated word graces the bottom of the panel.


Another unhealthy thought wafting through my brain…

If the doctors know you’re donating all your organs, do you think they try less hard with you? Dr, M says the doctors don’t know. It’s two totally different departments. But, you know, they’re in the same building, they get together for coffee, who knows what they talk about. All I’m saying is, when I’m surrendering to the anesthetic, I’d rather not hear the words,

“We could really use his nose.”

Random musings as the date approaches.
Responding to a questioner: It is my view that actors from other countries are invariably better trained than our home-grown actor-waiters. In other places, acting is seen as a profession. Actors study hard and continue honing their chops. You wouldn't go to a doctor because he had graced the cover of "Hot Doctor" magazine. (Unless you were looking to marry one.) Respect for acting in other countries is not a contradiction in terms. That's because, in other places, they actually take the job seriously.

1 comment:

Scot Boyd said...

Oh, they know. My father was in ICU for a week, and every single day he had a new pulmonologist and every single day the new pulmonologist would ask me to sign paperwork allowing for DNR and organ harvesting.

On the seventh day, he came out of it perfectly lucid, could breathe without a respirator, and was moved into a normal room.