"It Was The Strangest, Strangest Thing"

I have a “Clock-CD.” It’s like the “clock-radio” I got for my Bar Mitzvah, except that with this, along with the radio, there’s a CD player. I like this thing. It allows me to wake up to the CD selection of my choice.

It’s a nifty appliance. And it only took me three months to figure out how to use it. That could be a record in this house. We are not very technological. We’ve owned a DVD player for a couple of years. We have an attractive mobile sitting on it.

Not long ago, my friend, Paul, surprised me with a wonderful present. It’s a CD, whose sole track contains the original theme song from Hockey Night In Canada. Hockey Night is a deeply rooted Canadian tradition. The games were my most reliable companion through my adolescent Saturday nights. The gift stirred powerful memories. No dates; great hockey.

Ever since I received the CD, I’ve been waking up to this energizing anthem. Which goes something like this:

(INTRO)

“Da da-da da-da

Da da-da da-da

Da da-da da-da

Da.”

(THEME)

“Da-da-da da da da-dahhh

Da-da-da da da da-dahhh

Da-da-da da da

Da da-da-da

Da da da-d…”

This may not be doing it for you. I have the melody in my head. But if you don’t, “Da-da-da da da’s” meaningless. Sorry. I got carried away.

I love that theme!

Go find it on the Internet. “Original Theme to Hockey Night In Canada.” It’s irresistible. It’ll make you like hockey.

My Hockey Night “wake-up” never fails to start my engines. Every morning, I jump out of bed and skate straight to the bathroom.

All right.

One morning, as usual, I hear the blast of this unmistakable Canadian call to arms. For several seconds, I allow its driving rhythm (and its soothing nostalgia) to wash over me. Then I reach over, and I press the button to turn it off.

To my surprise, in contrast to every other time I’ve done this, this time, the music doesn’t stop.

It just keeps going.

I press the “Stop” button again.

“Da da-da da da…”

The Hockey Night theme song continues to play.

I stop for a moment, trying to understand what’s going on. Then, suddenly

The music stops.

All by itself.

I have no idea what happened. I guess there was a “delay”, or something. What does that mean? I have no idea. But at least it’s over.

I start to sit up…

“Da da-da da-da…”

It’s back.

The Hockey Night theme’s, like, thirty seconds long. Apparently, the way it’s set up, after it finishes, the track stops playing for couple of seconds, and then, it re-starts. I thought it was over. But I was wrong. Because there it was again.

“Da-da-da da da da-dahhh…”

“Da-da-da da da daddle ahhhh…”

I begin pressing every button on my “Clock-CD.” But it does no good. The Hockey Night theme keeps playing. Then ending. Then playing again.

I’m starting to get agitated.

I love Hockey Night In Canada.

But it’s jangling my nerves!

I roll over in bed. I reach out to my “Clock-CD.” I press the button…

And it stops.

And it stays stopped.

I’m lying in bed thinking, “What the heck just happened?” Suddenly, it all comes clear to me. I realize why I’d been unable to turn off the music.

Apparently, immediately – and I mean mere seconds – before my “clock-CD” was programmed to wake me up, I was dreaming that it already had. The Hockey Night theme? It wasn’t real. I was hearing it in my dream. That’s why I couldn’t turn it off.

Imagine my perplexitude. In my dream, despite my greatest efforts, I was unable to turn off the music. And moments later, in the “awake” version, I could.

It was the strangest, strangest feeling. Like a hockey-themed Twilight Zone.

I wouldn’t categorize it as a nightmare exactly.

But I really don’t want it to happen again.

Postscript: And then it did.

When I was in the hospital, I had this I.V. thing in my arm. When I came home, the area where the I.V. had been felt extremely sore. In fact, my first night, I woke up from the discomfort it was causing. Surprisingly, when I was awake, the area barely hurt at all.

My whole life, I’ve been a huge fan of sleeping, preferring it, generally, to being awake. (Soothing snoozes, over bumps and bruises.) These experiences, however, have prompted me to seriously consider changing my allegiance.