"The Journey Of A Thousand Miles Begins With Messy Yogurt All Over Your Fingers"

I guess deep down, I’m a muckraker. 

Blow the whistle on slaughterhouses. 

Expose working conditions for migrants.

But on a miniscule scale.  Avoiding the spotlight, while “making a difference.”

I have amassed a considerable resume.  Who got “Hopalong Cassidy” on The Westerns Channel?  Who got a “Right Turn” arrow on the Fourth Street onramp to the freeway? 

Responsibility for those worthy achievements remains publicly uncredited.  But “‘tain’t braggin’ if it’s true“ and it is.

Both triumphs were me.

Today, I announce a new crusade.

I know the odds are against me; they don’t all work out.  I imagine research scientists on their deathbeds going, “I was that close.”  (Or “Damn those uncooperative rodents!”)

Foiling reasonable predictions, my mission may, in fact, go the distance.  Or it may instead be the proverbial “long walk off a short pier.” 

That’s not important.

It’s important to try.  (I have belatedly learned, having restricted my risk-taking throughout my career.)  (And not crossing the street on the ”Yellow.”)

Here’s what happened.  And has been happening for years, till, like the great Popeye, I’ve decided, “That’s all I can stands.  I can’t stands no more.”

We buy this really good Greek yogurt at a nearby Farmer’s Market, made by Aris Natural Foods.  My current favorite is apricot kefir cheese yogurt.  Don’t ask me what that is.  I am not familiar with kefirs.

The yogurt itself is delicious.  (If don’t like apricot, try the fig.  And if you don’t like fig, try the raspberry.  If you don’t like any of them, you may not like yogurt.)

My archenemy in this issue is the packaging.

Round, plastic tubs.  Lids, easy to remove.

So far, so convenient.

But then…

Inside, there is this thin circle of cellophane, covering the yogurt.

Too thin.

The inevitable result being,

You grasp the “handy” cellophane tab between thumb and forefinger, and instead doing the trick, the tab tears off in your fingers, leaving the circle of cellophane, still covering the yogurt.

Now what?

You want yogurt.

And it’s covered with cellophane.

Desperate to “break through”, you find some discernible “purchase” at the edge of the cellophane, and you pull that?

What happens?

A small shard of cellophane peels off of the circle.

And that’s it.

Well not exactly “That’s it.”

The fingers are now covered with yogurt.

In desperate “piece-meal” fashion, you then pull off the numerous shards of cellophane one by one, until finally, the cellophane covering is totally removed.

Though the “price” to do so is significant.

If it were oil, I’d say your fingers were “grease-slicked.”

Call it “grease-slicked” with yogurt.

The process is messy...

And totally unnecessary.

How do I know that?

Because of “Lauren Chenel Spreadable Goat Cheese”, which we also enjoy.

“Lauren Chenel Spreadable Goat Cheese” too has cellophane circle, covering its product.

But it’s thicker.

So when you pull it by its “handy” cellophane tab…

The covering circle peels off in one piece.

It can be done.

Someday, Aris Natural Foods will have cellophane circle that peels off in one piece.

You don’t believe it?

Just watch me.