Thursday, August 8, 2019

"It's All Subjective"


There is an old comedy maxim, which I will tell you about later, because if I told you now I would not have an ending for this post.  That’s how far ahead I think.  Sorry, but you will just have to wait.

Okay, here we go.

I am watching Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

Oh, by the way… he says, interrupting nothing.

The most exquisite episode I have seen of Comedians In Cars Etc ­… like I’m too lazy to type “Getting Coffee”… was the episode with Jerry Seinfeld and Eddie Murphy.  It was like two veterans meeting after the war, having shared a seared bonding experience.  (They began performing at the same club on the same year.  Then they both got real big.)

Listen to this.

Waiting for coffee, Seinfeld, not the warmest of characters, says to Murphy,

“I love you so much.”

I was dumbstruck.  It was like…

Note:  At this point, I planned to insert the name of a recognized person behaving wildly unusually.  But since I am unable to do “Name Jokes”, there is a gaping hole in this narrative.  Oh, wait! 

It was like Donald Trump, telling the truth.

You’ve never seen it.  You never thought you would see it.  And lo and behold – there it is!

Jerry’s confession of love was incredibly moving.  An emotional crack in the Seinfeldian granite.

Okay, where was I?

Oh, yeah.

I watched an episode with Jerry Seinfeld and Ricky Gervais.  The conversation begins harmlessly.  Jerry asks “Limey” Gervais what he likes about New York.  Gervais responds,

“It’s vibrant.  You can do whatever you want.  There are no two people the same.”

To which Jerry replies,

“That’s true everywhere.  Where are people the same?”

There is a silence.  Then Jerry says,

“China, maybe.”

Leading to a discussion of the acceptability of slurring a billion people for a laugh. 

None of whom would find that particular joke funny.

Later, Gervais relates what he describes as, “… the most interesting joke.”

Which is the following:

“A Holocaust survivor eventually dies of old age.  And he goes to Heaven.   Where he meets God.  And he tells God a Holocaust joke.  And God goes, ‘That’s not funny.’  And he says, “I guess you had to be there.”

A joke, told at The Creator’s expense. 

Celestial chuckle:  Unlikely.  (“Smiting”, a distinct possibility.  Except the guy’s already dead.)

This joke reminds Gervais of a bit from his act about the arrogance of praying. 

“Praying to the God who didn’t show up for the Holocaust, thinking he’ll help you find your car keys.”

A joke at the expense of “believers.”

Who are unlikely to guffaw.

Emanating from another episode of Comedians… getting progressively lazier with the title… I told my daughter Anna a joke that made me laugh uproariously, in which, I think it was Martin Short, asks Jerry what the funniest Jewish word is, to which Seinfeld replies,

“Shnorrer.”

When asked to define it, Jerry explains,

“Shnorrers pick the cashews out of the mixed nuts.”

To which my daughter Anna replied,

I do that.”

Eliciting no “Ha-ha” from Anna.

You just never know.

Except you know this:

Nothing is funny to everyone.

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Wait!  I’ve picked out the cashews.

So belatedly,

“Hey!”

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