Monday, August 12, 2019

"A Slim (But Significant) Emmy Summer Remembrance"


Written in a Toronto hotel room.

I cannot recall which of the several Emmy ceremonies I attended this was.  (Each one representing a personal nomination.)  Which reminds me of a joke by comedian Jackie Vernon, describing a sure-fire way to impress women. 

A man walking along the beach, goes up to a woman he is attracted to and says,

“Excuse me.  Did you see my Congressional Medal of Honor around here?  That’s okay.  I’ve got another one at home.”

I am not trying to show off with the “several Emmy ceremonies I attended.”  This story, in fact, concerns a humbling experience. 

At one of the Emmy ceremonies I attended.  

Here’s what happened.

I am sitting in the audience, behind Rob Reiner.  Which was exciting.  I was sitting behind “Meathead!”  Plus, because he was “Meathead”, he had great seats.  Which meant I had great seats.  Just one row behind “Meathead!”

It was a giddy Emmy-attending experience.  Suggesting maybe it was an early one, although not necessarily.  Throughout my career, I tried to protect my genuine excitement at my career god fortune, and to a surprising degree, I did.  Much to the annoyance of my bosses, who believed I was pretending.  I wasn’t pretending.

I was truly happy to be there.

I mean, come on!  When you watched Perry Mason growing up, it was a thrill when he said “Congratulations!” to me, clutching my Emmy.  I know it wasn’t exactly Perry Mason – it was Raymond Burr.  But, you know… that’s me. 

Perry Mason said, “Nice going” on winning my Emmy!

And you know what?

That’s still me. 

Once, at a restaurant before he died – of course, “before he died”; they wouldn’t let him in otherwise – I saw Gene Barry – or, to me, “Bat” Masterson.  My wife had to warningly squeeze my hand before I spontaneously sang,

“Back when the West was very young
There lived a man named Masterson…”

Believe me.  I will sing in a restaurant at the drop of a “Bat.”  (Sorry.  Being away has somehow lowered my standards.)

Okay, so where was I?

Oh, yeah.

There I am, sitting at the Emmys.  With “Celebrity Presenters”, Rob Reiner sitting in front of me, and then – highlight of highlights – Hall of Fame icon Willie Mays is brought out.

The audience gives him a standing ovation.

Not just a “Television Guy.”

This was the “Say ‘Hey’ Kid!”

The whole thing was so exhilarating.  “Look at us!”  “Look at them!”  “Look at us, looking at them!”  “Look at them, looking at us, looking at them!”  And so on, ad glorious infinitum.

Then, a few minutes later, there was a palpable lull in the festivities.

Somebody I don’t remember introduced a nondescript older gentleman, in a gray suit – we were wearing tuxedos – who came out and made a speech nobody was listening to.

This is not an exaggeration.  Nobody in the room was paying attention to that nondescript stranger making a speech.  They just chattered amongst themselves, waiting for him to finish so somebody “Big” would show up.

You know me – empathetic to a fault.  I am watching this poor man no one’s paying attention to, and I’m thinking – and also saying out loud because sometimes my thoughts leak out through my mouth –

“The guy probably invented television.”

Which I hoped Rob Reiner had heard, because it was a wryly clever remark, and where’s the fun if nobody hears it?  (Especially a “hot shot” like “Meathead.”)

Today’s “Message”?

“Show People” are so superficial.

And self-centered!  Who else calls the area they work in “The Business!”

And, besides superficial and self-centered – and more specifically to this effort:

“Show People” are amazingly short-sighted. 

Think about it.  (As I recently did, remembering that pithy remark at the Emmys.)

Without the innovative technology the ignored speaker onstage represented,

We’re nothing!

No invention of television – no shows.

No cable television – no shows with nudity in them.  Or groundbreaking series like The Sopranos.

No… I don’t know how they do it but you get Netflix and other streaming platforms out of it – look at me, saying “streaming platforms” – no that stuff, whatever it is, no all those “niche” shows I don’t watch but other people won’t miss.

All that comes from advancing technology.

So today, in the summer, which is not “Prime Time” but at least I’m trying –

Thank you, engineers and inventors, for making the stuff up that allows us to make our stuff up.

Including the Internet.

Without which this blog would be

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