"Making Your Mark"

The first time I wrote anything nobody asked me to, when I finished, I said out loud, although no one was around to hear me,

“I’m immortal!”

When those words spilled spontaneously out of my mouth, I knew there was something viscerally compelling about…

“Making Your Mark.”

As in,

“Kilroy Was Here” * 

(* Ubiquitous World War II graffiti.)

Who doesn’t want to provide tangible evidence of their earthly existence, create an enduring legacy, leave something permanent behind?

It’s not just creative people.  I used to drive past the “Tishman Building” in Los Angeles.  Giant letters, stuck to the side of a skyscraper.  You think Tishman wasn’t thinking about his legacy?  He could have simply provided the address.

It’s a natural impulse – leaving a lasting contribution.  Though it takes various forms.  For some, it’s a charitable endowment.  For others, it’s working for the betterment of Mankind.

For me, it’s upgrading The Westerns Channel.

Hey, those do-gooders can’t do everything!  

We all need to pitch in.

The Westerns Channel is part of my cable package of stations, most of which I pay for but don’t watch, but this one I do.  You know I like westerns – the eponymous Westerns Channel airs them twenty-four hours a day.  The thing is, though I am delighted by its very existence, The Westerns Channel, creatively, leaves plenty to be desired.

Slapdash.  Pedestrian.  Lacking demonstrable flair.  Showing westerns I don’t care for in “Prime Time”, and relegating westerns I do – particularly the ‘30’s “B” westerns starring Buck Jones, Hoot Gibson and Johnny Mack Brown to five in the morning.  (I am occasionally awake at that hour.  Normally, I wake up to lackluster Audie Murphy pictures.)

Anyway – since you don’t know who any of these people are – demonstrating how much available time I have on my hands…

I wrote an e-mail to The Westerns Channel, telling them –respectfully – that their on-air performance was ca-ca, and saying I had some ameliorating suggestions.

The Westerns Channel immediately e-mailed me back, thanking me for my welcome enthusiasm, and promising to get back with me, as they were “eager” to hear my interesting ideas.

I never heard from them again.

What did I do next?

I impulsively “gave away the store”, rather than saying, “I have these proposals for improving The Westerns Channel, and if you make me the channel’s president, I shall reveal to you what they are.”  (In truth, I did not aspire to be president of The Westerns Channel; I just wanted it to be better.  Although if nominated, I might run, and if elected, I might actually serve.  I mean, when duty calls…)  

In my follow-up e-mail, I submitted a list of a dozen or so suggestions, many of which followed the successful template of Turner Classic Movies, whose operation includes rotating (knowledgeable) hosts, “A-List”, celebrity interviewees, ancillary “Movie Fan” cruises, and specific wine recommendations, matching their cinematic selections.  (That last idea is hardly compatible with The Westerns Channel – “For The Battle at Apache Pass, we suggest a chilled Chablis.”  It’s more like, “‘Rot-Gut’ for everything.”) 

Bottom Line:  I was ecstatic The Westerns Channel existed.

I just wanted it to be classier.

And attractive to a wider range of potential viewership.  (I just typed “wider ranger of potential viewership” – a subliminal allusion to “that daring and resourceful masked rider of the Plains. *) 

(* The Lone Ranger.) 

One of my ideas involved offering “Kid-Friendly” westerns on Saturday mornings, mirroring my memorable experience, growing up.  (What constitutes a “Kid-Friendly” western?  “Justice” ultimately prevails, and they shoot “Bad Guys” in the hand.  And no children are shot anywhere.  Although there was one boy who succumbed to a runaway stagecoach.  Which impelled Errol Flynn to put on a badge and clean up Dodge City, so the unfortunate youngster was not trampled in vain.

I submitted the second e-mail, offering knowledgeable suggestions free of charge or possibility of personal advancement… probably…

And I never heard back.

I was disappointed, but not crushed.  Well, I was a little crushed.  Nobody likes being ignored.  There are ominous intimations of, “You no longer exist.”

And then, one day, while watching The Westerns Channel – The Horse Soldiers for the umpteenth time that month – not my umpteenth time watching it; I only watched it four times – I see a network “promo” between movies, announcing that, for the first time in its existence, The Westerns Channel would be broadcasting an hour of Hopalong Cassidy – the quintessential “Kids’ Show” cowboy –

Every Saturday morning! 

Imagine my thrill-packed excitement!  My proposal to The Westerns Channel had been accepted, and would shortly be implemented for all to enjoy.

I had my “Immortalizing Imprint.”  I mean, it’s not the Washington Monument, or anything.  Though in a way, it’s better.  I am alive to experience it.  George Washington was not.

And so there you have it.

“Pomerantz Was Here”

His enduring legacy, airing Saturday mornings.

On The Westerns Channel.