"Six-Up"

Comedian Victor Borge had a joke about his luckless inventor brother who came up with the soft drink “Six-Up.”

It can happen in writing. 

Lemme go “the other way” first. 

You can look it up.

100 Greatest Movie Quotes

And there you have it.  Lines that have lasted throughout the ages.

But…

Sometimes you “miss”, producing the dialogal equivalent of “Six Up.”

Why?

Because nobody’s perfect.  (Which I just proved by typing “Nogody’s perfect.”)

Because you had a bad writing day.  (Or a bad day that affected your writing.)

Because you thought you “had it”, but you didn’t.

The network or studio told you, “Do this!”

Or you just ran out of time.

For whatever reason, somehow, you missed glorious perfection by “this much” – or in some cases more – leaving the world not with resonating quotations but instead less classic alternatives.

Such as,

“Show me the contract!”  (Jerry Maguire)

“Go ahead.  Make my week.”  (Sudden Impact)

“Frankly, Scarlett, I don’t give a hoot.  (Gone With the Wind)  (Legion of Decency “suggestion.”)

Then there was,

“Bond.  James Bond… is what they call me.”  (Some James Bond movie, or maybe a book.  I don’t know, okay?  Now, back to the missteps.)

“Hey, Adrian!”  (Rocky)

“I’ll be back again.”  (The Terminator.)

“We will make him an offer he’ll be dying to refuse.  You get it?”  (The Godfather)

“We’ll always have Europe.”  (Casablanca)

“Fasten your seatbelts.  We are headed for turbulent terrain.  (All About Eve) 

“You can’t process the truth!”  (A Few Good Men)

“If you build it, they’ll play baseball on it.”  (Field of Dreams)

“Fasten your seatbelts.  We are headed for some turbulent terrain.”  (All About Eve) (Not bad till you hear the actual one.)

“Oh Toto.  There’s no place like Kansas.”  (The Wizard of Oz)

“I have always relied on the generosity of strangers.”  (A Streetcar Named Desire)  (So close.)

“Houston?  Get ready for a really loud crash.”  (Apollo 13)

“Is that a pencil in your pocket or are you sexually excited?”  (She Done Him Wrong)

I told you they weren’t easy. 

Got any “near misses” of your own?