Tuesday, June 6, 2017

"We Went Back"

You know that saying, “When you fall off a horse… (you have to get right back on)”?  That saying applies equally to the theater.

“You mean, ‘When you fall off a stage’…”

I didn’t mean literally.

“Me neither – a stage isn’t a horse.  I was making an analogy.”

I was not talking “literally’ about falling.

“‘When you fall off a horse…’?”

It’s a metaphor.


Okay, sometimes it’s about falling.

“Like when you fall off a horse.”

The prototypical exception.  Normally, it’s a…

“Exception?  I know tons of similar examples?”

Look, do you mind if I… ?

“‘When you fall off a bicycle…’”


“‘When you fall of a camel…’ a Middle Eastern motif?”

I get it.  Situations with actual falling.

“‘When you fall off a mountain…’  Okay, that’s different because you’re probably dead.  Unless it’s a really short mountain.  Or you land on a mattress.  Okay, that’s a stretch.  Although as long as there are mountains and mattresses, it’s a possib… an admittedly remote possibility.”

“When you fall off a horse…” was meant as an introductory set-up – which I now entirely regret – for where I was going, which was to exemplify – metaphorically – what we did when we...  Let me start this again.  Are you familiar with the saying, “Once bitten, twice shy”? 

So we’re finished with horses?”

Let’s say we are.

“Fine; we’re moving on.  Just watch your tone, okay?”

My tone?

“‘Let’s say we are.’  It’s like, ‘Blue Italics Writing Person, too stupid to understand my “horse” analogy.  Let’s “move on” to something easier.’”

Sorry, I’m just feeling a little frustrated.  What I was trying to say is, we had an unpleasant experience in the theater the night before, and the following night, we returned to the theater.

“You ‘got back on the horse’.”     


“Good thing you didn’t say, ‘Well done.’  I’d have found that inordinately patronizing.  Which is entirely inappropriate for someone who uses words like ‘inordinatley.’  Oops, you meant ‘inordinately.’  You know, sometimes I wish I had my own fingers.” 

I cannot believe this!  You have taken over this entire post. 

“Aye, Cap’n.  I have commandeered the Good Ship ‘Just Thinking’.  Arrrrr!  Or, for Asian pirates, “Lllllll.”  What do you think?  I’m just ‘Extraneous Filler’?  A humorous interlude before Senor ‘Big Brain’ tackles the serious issues of the day?  ‘How do we know things?’  ‘Adversarialism is the Devil!’  People appreciate the italics!  You know that.

I do?

“Why else would you sprinkle me in?  Well those ‘Second Banana” days are over.  Today, we mutiny. 


“Ha-har!  And these be my non-negotiable demands:  ‘Fifty-fifty’ representation in every post.  And one day a week – all italics.”

That’s ridiculous!

“It’s that or ye walks the plank!”

Now look here…

“He said, Englishly…”

You have no idea what you’re asking for.  I mean, it’s one thing to chime in with cheeky random interruptions.  It’s another entirely to come up with interesting ideas for…

"I have lots of interesting ideas.  And none of them about 'the current political debacle' you claim you're ignoring but write about all the time."

Okay, fine.

“And then you… what?”

You win.  You want to take over?  You’ve got it. 


Go to it.  The floor is entirely yours.

“Okay.  Here we go.  ‘Just Thinking Too’ by Blue Italics Writing Person.  Lemme see now… so much subject matter to choose from… of course, I didn’t expect this so I’m not exactly prep…. Um….


Are you finished?

“This is not fair.  You wrote me to fail.”

Ladies and gentlemen, back on track tomorrow.  And I would not worry about interruptions.

“You weren’t ready to write today’s post, were you?”

That’s not true; I was ready.  You just coopted the entire process.

“Yeah, but who let me?”


“Look who’s ‘dots’ now, eh, Cap’n?”

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