"Thanksgiving 2013"

This is the only day of the year when I do not have to justify my nap.  Tryptophan, and that’s it.

“The turkey made me do it!”

And that’s a medical book fact!

I love Thanksgiving because there is no shopping for presents.  Although, this year, Chanukah came so early – it actually started last night – it felt suspiciously like there was. 

Apparently, one of the more popular novelty items for this uncharacteristic, holiday “Tag Team” is the “menurkey” – a Chanukah menorah shaped like a turkey.  We didn’t get one, because I am not certain we would ever use it again.  I am not at all knowledgeable about the workings of the (Jewish) “moon calendar.”  I can barely reprogram my clock radio for “Daylight Savings Time.” 

For those who are interested – though it takes place even if you’re not – Canadian Thanksgiving, I believe but am not certain, is celebrated on October the Twelfth, which is also, I believe but am not certain, “Columbus Day.”

Canada has a tough time justifying Thanksgiving, as we have no tradition of pilgrims, or Indians teaching them to grow corn.  We may not even have corn.  And I do not think the Indians taught us to grow wheat.  I am not certain who taught us to grow wheat.  It was possibly the Norwegians.  But I am not sure how you get a holiday out of that.

“Thank you, Bjorn!”

The truth is, when I grew up, I was not aware that Canadians even celebrated Thanksgiving.  The Hebrew Day School I attended was unlikely to acknowledge it.  They were not thrilled about letting us off for Christmas! 

The only reason I ultimately learned about Thanksgiving is because I once went over to comedian Martin Short’s house – I had written a sitcom pilot entitled Meet The Millers, and Marty (as others call him) had arranged for a private reading of the script with himself and Catherine O’Hara.

When I came in, I was informed that preparations were being made for the traditional Canadian Thanksgiving Feast.  (As I did not peek in the oven or check in the pots, I continue to be unaware of what delicacies my Home and Native Land’s Thanksgiving Day Feast includes.)  It was only then that I became aware of when Canadian Thanksgiving takes place.  Or, in fact, that it actually existed.

(One thing you can count on.  No matter how early it falls, it is a virtual certainty that Chanukah and Canadian Thanksgiving will never coincide.)

One thing – a little troubling in nature.  I do not know where I heard this, but I was recently informed that it is only Canadian Jews who are unfamiliar with the existence Canadian Thanksgiving.  I have no idea why that would be.  Unless the main course involves a festive selection of Canadian Thanksgiving Day pork products.  If there’s a Canadian out there – Jew or otherwise – who has the answer to this mystery, I would appreciate it if you could enlighten me on this matter.

Anyway, since I moved here, Thanksgiving shines as one of my favorite holidays.  We have (our happily expanding) family and a rotating cast of invitees over, we eat Dr. M’s exquisitely prepared delicacies, topped off by Anna’s delectable deserts, we watch football games played by teams I don’t care about, and – and Canadian forgive me for mentioning this – sometimes, though it’s the last Thursday in November, we go swimming. 

Followed by the inevitable totally sanctioned snooze on the couch.

Happy Thanksgiving, wherever you are! 

Have a magnificent day for yourselves.

Even if it includes shoveling the sidewalk.