Friday, August 24, 2012

"Leading The Trend"

A guy in his sixties and another guy in his sixties are saying goodbye, after having lunch together.

GUY:  Great lunch.  Let’s do it again soon.

ANOTHER GUY:  Great!  Call me.

G:  I will.  Wait!  What was that?

A.G:  What was what?

G:  You put your fist to your ear.

A.G:  That’s “Call me.”

G:  “Call me”?

A.G:  You know.  The international symbol. 

G:  In 1980.  Nobody does that anymore.

A.G:  They don’t do “Call me”?  How do deaf people know to expect a call?


A.G:  The fist “Call me”?  It’s entirely out of the picture?

G:  Nobody under thirty knows what you’re doing.  They think you’re listening to your knuckles.

A.G:  I understand, because of cellphones, the three-finger-curled-thumb-up-pinkie-down ‘Call me” has generally replaced it.  But I had no idea the fist “Call me” was now persona non grata in polite society.   

G:  The fist “Call me” is from the Depression. 

A.G:  In the Depression, the phones had a crank.  I think they used the crank “Call me” back then. 

G:  (BREAKING UP) “Call me” and they cranked?  It looks like an Organ Grinder.

A.G:  It’s how they made a call.  No matter what phone, the hand gesture is, symbolically, how you do it.

G:  Well, now you do it now is thumb-up-pinkie-down.

A.G.:  Well, thank you.  You have saved me from further embarrassment.  Like telling me I have spaghetti sauce on my chin. 

G:  I did that too.

A.G:  I know!  You’re saving me everywhere!  With that fist “Call me”, I was really dating myself.  And if I kept doing it, that’s the only person I’d be dating.  Myself!

G:  Yeah, you know, the joke structure you just used?  That’s the fist “Call me” of comedy.

A.G:  No wonder I don’t work anymore.  Everything I do says, “Over the hill.”

G:  If you want to stay in the game, you gotta stay current. 

A.G:  Good advice.

G:  Okay.  So, I’ll see you.

A.G:  So long.  Wait!  Can I still say that?



A.G:  You know what?  I just had a thought.


G: What?

A.G:  The thumb-up-pinkie-down?

G:  Yeah?

A.G:  That’s for flip phones.  ‘Cause of the way you hold them.

G:  Right.

A.G:  The thing is, that’s not “how you do it now.”  I mean, who has a flip phone anymore?

G:  You do.

A.G:  Yes, but I’m “over the hill.”  Today, it’s those rectangles.  The iPhone, and such, right?

G:  Right.

A.G:  So-o-o-o, thumb-up-pinkie down? – the international symbol for the phone they don’t use anymore?  What does that say about you?  “I still have a flip phone?”

G:  What are you driving at?

A.G:  I don’t know.  It just seems now that phones are a different shape, we are ready for a new international symbol for “Call me.”  

G:  That’s ridiculous.  Everyone knows that thumb-up-pinkie-down means “Call me.”

A.G:  The fist used to mean “Call me.”  Now, it’s the laughingstock of hand gestures.

G:  It’s different.  They’re still using thumbs-up-pinkie-down.

A.G:  There’s always some “lag time.”  But do you want to be ahead of the curve?  Or “Grandpa”?

G:  What are you suggesting?

A.G:  Somebody’s got to get things rolling.  Why shouldnt it be you?

G:  What do you want me to do?

A.G:  Be the first man to use the iPhone-era “Call me.”

G:  And what exactly would that look like?

A.G:  I don’t know, an open hand, cupped to your ear?

G:  That’s stupid.  It looks like Red Buttons, doing “Ho ho, he he.”

A.G: Now who’s dating themselves!

G:  You’re saying I should do “Call me” by cupping my hand to my ear, like I’m  miming holding an iPhone?

 A.G:  It’s bound to look weird at first.  But how do you think the first fist looked to the crank people?  “What are you doing?  Punching your ear?”  But the fist won the day, becoming the recognized “Call me” around the world.  Until, after decades at the top, it was knocked off its perch by thumb-up-pinkie-down.  Which, itself, looked strange at the beginning.  (DEMONSTRATING THUMB-UP-PINKIE DOWN)  “What happened to your hand?”  Now, of course, it’s everywhere.

G:  You know, I pride myself on being “cutting edge”.  Why shouldn’t I go first?  You know what?  I’m doing it!

A.G:  They’ll never call you “over the hill.”  You’re a trendsetter!

G:  At my age.  Pioneering the new “Call me.”  Okay.  I’ll try it for a couple of days, and I’ll let you know how it goes.  (CUPPING HIS HAND TO HIS EAR)  Call me.

A.G:  What?


A.G:  I’m kidding.



Zaraya said...

Dear Mr. Pomerantz; this would be a hilarious scene in show. Alas, it would have to be show with sex, or innuendo about sex. Is there a sitcom that doesn't rely on that now?

Just as Matlock appealed to older folks, maybe it's time for a sitcom that appeals to a similar crowd. I'd definitely watch "Two Guys and Some Lunch".


Zaraya said...

Dear Comments; I accidentally a lot of words

"hilarious scene in A show"

"be A show WITHOUT sex"

Embarrassingly yours,

Alan said...


the ghost of dontrelle willis said...

You & Zaraya make a good team today. I think she's signaling you now, something along the lines of 'call me'.

JED said...

I think Earl and Zaraya make a good team, too. As a matter of fact...