Wednesday, June 20, 2012

"A 'Just Thinking' Exclusive!"

Rush Limbaugh is a woman.

He is?

I read it on the Internet. 

Who wrote it?

I did. 

Is it true?

It must be.

How do you know?

I read it on the Internet.

Is everything on the Internet automatically true?  Of course not.  Then again, is everything on the Internet automatically wrong?

Think about it.

It appears on the Internet; the seed has been planted.  And then – call it common sense – takes over from there.

“I consider myself a fair-minded person.  Obviously, there is nothing wrong with being a woman.  Roughly half of humanity are women.  There’s no shame in it at all.  So why would you deny being what you are? 

The thing is, though, when you go – How old is Rush now?  Early sixties? – well, when you go that length of time representing yourself as a man…coming out and announcing you’re a woman?  That would be, you know, weird.

Now I don’t know Rush’s audience breakdown exactly, but I imagine a lot of them are men.  In fact, I would speculate Rush’s audience is more men than women.  And these would be your traditional men.  More conservative than liberal, I’d imagine.  

Considering how popular Rush is – and has been for years – you have to believe that these men trust him, and respect him, and hold him in awfully high regard.

So here’s their “Icon of Truthfulness” – and I don’t think I’m exaggerating, from his audience’s perspective – and it turns out that all this time he lied to them and is actually a woman.

Do you think those men would stick with him?  Or would they feel, I don’t know…betrayed?

Let’s think about what’s at stake here; let’s weigh the man’s options. 

Rush Limbaugh rakes in tens of millions of dollars a year.  Do you think he’d risk all that, plus the…well, I mean, it has to be – pardon the pun – a rush, to have this platform where you can sit behind a microphone hour after hour and tell the truth as you see it to millions of listeners, who are hanging on your every word. 

Do you really think he’d take the chance of losing all that, just to come clean and tell the world he’s a woman?  Would you?

I’ll put it this way.  If Rush Limbaugh were actually a woman, he has a lot more to lose than he has to gain by saying so.

I admit I have no direct evidence on the matter.   I mean, have you ever been in a Men’s Room with the guy?  I haven’t.  Truth be told, the idea seems very unlikely.  But “hand on the Bible”?  I cannot vouch for the man either way.

Then again, there’s his attitude toward women on his show.  Remember when Rush took apart that Fluke woman for her stand on insurance covering contraceptives?  I mean, sure, that’s a bedrock conservative position to take.  But it’s also, when you see it from the other side of things, anti-woman. 

We’ve seen this kind of cover-up before.  These Congressmen, they come out against gay rights, they attack gay lifestyles, and everything?  And then later, it turns out those hypocrites are gay themselves

Put it this way:  Who is more likely to go nuts about the rights of women than a closeted, self-hating woman who, their entire life, has tried to – and been successful at, at least to this point – “passing” as a man? 

Again.  Not saying it’s true.  But it does make you wonder.

You know, historically, this is hardly unheard of.  During the Civil War, for one, but I’d bet in every war, there’s been a certain number of women who cut their hair short and dressed up like men, so they could go out there, and get in on the action. 

What I’m saying is, it has happened before.  And come to think of it, Rush’s hair is cut pretty short.

Or course it would be easy for Rush to dispel the controversy and end the speculation once and for all.  He could call a big press conference and just “Drop ‘em.”  Then we would settle things once and for all.

Unless, of course, he rigged up some kind of contraption that, at least from a distance, could pass muster as the genuine article.  I mean, when you’re as rich as Rush is, you can order up pretty much anything you want.

So, even then, I suppose…there may…still be doubts. 
I tell ya.  Thinking this through and all, Rush Limbaugh could very well be a woman.  I mean, there is mounting evidence that he might be.  And on the other side – well I’d say we have his word for it, but as far as I know, the man – and I will call him that until proven otherwise – has not spoken out on the matter at all. 

Makes you wonder if the guy’s got something to hide. 

Rush Limbaugh.  A man?  A woman? 

We may never know for sure.”

It does not take much to believe the unbelievable.  You just have to want to.

And that’s a fact.

You read it on the Internet.

1 comment:

Louis Castaing said...

Let's see his birth certificate.