Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"Tecate Tales"

That's where the place is. In Tecate. Tecate is three miles across the border from the United States. There's, like, a ten-foot wall there, so if you're not a good climber, you have to stay in Mexico, and take lessons.

Tecate is also twenty-nine miles east of Tijuana, where some serious drug gangs hang out. I fantasized the drug gangs venturing eastward, commandeering our health spa, and forcing the guests to eat rich, Mexican pastries at gunpoint.

But we spa people a healthy bunch, though non-combative. We could easily out-hike them back to the border to safety and gluten-free cuisine. So no worries.
The first thing I noticed on arrival was how green the place was. The eskimos have forty words for snow. One would need an equal number to describe the various shades of green. Unfortunately, I only have one.


The greenness indicates that a lot of unhappy guests before us that had been rained on. Very heavily, it would appear. My hope is that next week's guests won't find it any greener than it is now. It's green enough. We don't need any more rain. We really don't. Please.
On our way to our ranchera, which is Spanish for delightful, little, semi-detached cabin, we spotted a bunny rabbit on the lawn. Very cute.

Later, walking around, we spotted two more bunny rabbits, frolicking on the lawn. Even cuter. Two rabbits, frolicking together.

Then, entering the Dining Room for dinner, we saw four rabbits, frolicking on the lawn. I have visited this place many times. Never have I seen four rabbits, frolicking on the lawn.

But rather than excitement, a trickle of concern registered in my mind. The rabbit population
had just quadrupled before our eyes. How soon before four rabbits frolicking on the lawn multiplied into...


There's a thin line between charming and infestation. For me, that "changeover point" begins with four rabbits. I will keep you posted. Unless they eat me.

(It seems noteworthy that I'm more concerned about the rabbits than the Mexican drug gangs. But that's how it is.)
The spa menu is quite good, despite the limited choices. Even so, I could not help recalling a line by Chevy Chase who, as "Dusty Bottoms" of the heralded Three Amigos, on a journey South of the Border, inquired,

"Do you have anything besides Mexican food?"
Our room is beautiful. Comfortable, bright, and cheerfully decorated. It is my habit and obligation to be the member of the family who turns off all unnecessary lights. Which, before we left for dinner, I dutifully did.

Except for one. Which, as hard as I tried, I was unable to extinguish. It took me twenty minutes to discover it was a skylight. Not a light with a bulb. But a little, circular window in the ceiling. Facing the sky.

In my defense, it looked like a light. It was really bright. You know, like a fixture with a high wattage bulb? But the glass was frosted, so you couldn't see inside and realize that there wasn't any bulb. There was only the sky.

You cannot turn off a skylight.

After twenty minutes, I gave up trying.
I will stop here for today, as there are many exciting activities calling my name. It's a difficult choice. Which of my favorites should I try first?

Nap, bath or hammock?

A cliff-hanger. The perfect ending.

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