A Cautionary Note: The following experience may have resulted from the use of CBD oil, a marijuana derivative I rubbed medicinally on my neck which may have casually gone up my nose. I don’t know. It’s one explanation. The thing is, it is the only explanation I have.
Listen to this.
Because this is weird.
This is terribly weird.
This is – as if I know what I’m talking about – hallucinogenically weird.
(Here’s how messed up I am. I originally wrote “hallucinogenitally” weird.)
Jumping right in…
I am watching a ballgame – Los Angeles Dodgers versus the San Francisco Giants, in whatever our hated rivals call where they currently play baseball. (I’d call it “Don’t Miss The Garlic Fries” Stadium – those things are amazing. Though there is no way a French fries concessions stand could compete with Oracle’s branding offer, so it’s called Oracle Park instead. The revenge is people remember the garlic fries but not the name of the ballpark.)
And now, back to the game.
Bottom of the seventh inning, Dodgers lead 2-0. Their starting pitcher is faltering, so they bring in a reliever. The two combine to squander the late-inning advantage.
End of the seventh: 3-2, Giants.
Diehard supporter that I am, I immediately change channels. I know “It’s never over till it’s over.” But that’s for optimists. For me, the Dodgers fall behind late and I’m “What else is on?” (It’s not that I don’t care. It’s that I unhealthily care too much.)
Minutes later, after flipping around the channels, I land randomly on ESPN. It’s a “Baseball Round-up” show – East Coast final scores, updates on games still in progress. Suddenly, they are talking about the Dodgers.
The lost seventh inning lead is painfully reported. But then I hear this:
“The Dodgers seem to be ‘doing some business’ in the top of the eighth.”
The score flashes on the screen:
It is now 6-3, Dodgers.
I am immediately elated. Bandwagon climber that I am, I switch back to the Dodgers, to join in the fun.
Here’s where it gets crazy.
It’s the top of the eighth inning, all right.
But the Dodgers are still down, 3-to-2.
My initial reaction is that, for reasons beyond my pay grade, there was a scheduled “delay” in the broadcast, putting ESPN somewhat “ahead” of the local transmission. I thought, “Great!” I can watch the surprise Dodgers resurgence.
There is no Dodgers resurgence.
The top of the eighth – where ESPN announced they seemed to be “doing some business”?
The Dodgers are instead held scoreless.
The inning ends 3-2, Giants. As does, later, the ballgame.
I am totally confused.
Wouldn’t you be?
“What happened to ‘6-3, Dodgers’? They promised ‘6-3, Dodgers!’”
I mean, I know what I witnessed. I heard they “seemed to be ‘doing some business’ in the top of the eighth” and saw “6-3, Dodgers” posted on the screen.
It turns out,
None of that was correct.
So, like, what the heck happened?
Did ESPN clerically snafu, or were they deliberately making stuff up?
Did I just dream the Dodgers pulled ahead in the eighth?
Was it wishful thinking? (“The Power of Positive Misperception”?)
Was it some punishing “brain trick” for inexcusably switching away?
Or was it the “medicinal pot” I rubbed on my neck which inadvertently went up my nose?
It is a complete mystery to me.
This time, though I enjoy mystery, explanations are welcome.
I like the Dodgers to win.
But not just in my head.
Tomorrow: My first experience at a legalized “pot” store. Sounds like that’s right up my alley. But I am worrying it isn’t.