For reasons I am at a
loss to explain, unlike the numerous products whose purveyors trumpet what
those products do in their names – “Mr. Clean” jumps immediately to mind –
pharmaceutical companies appear to deliberately label their products with names
that are entirely meaningless.
Leading to this
contest. Which contains two elements.
The following is a list of medications regularly advertised
on television. At least on the channels I watch:
ANORO
ABREVA
ABIERTO (Wait, that’s
“open” in Spanish. Please ignore.)
BELVIQ
CYMBALTA
DULERA
FARXIGA
JUBLIA
FARXIGA
JUBLIA
NAMENDA XR
PREVNAR 13
RELPAX
XARELTO
ZOFRAN
ZOVIRAX
ZYLINDRA
The following is a list of conditions the above-mentioned medications
are intended to relieve:
Elevated blood sugar.
Migraines.
Anti-Depressant
Weight loss.
Extreme “Morning Sickness.”
Cold sores.
Blood thinner.
Pneumonia
Breathing problems.
Alzheimer’s Disease.
Cold sores again. (I
do not, that I am aware of, have Alzheimer’s.
There are two medications for cold sores.)
Ingrown toenail.
Asthma
Ingrown toenail.
Asthma
Okay. Element One of
the Contest:
Match the medications’ names with the conditions they are
intended to relieve.
Element Two of the Contest:
Identify the “Medication Name” that I personally made up.
You are unlikely the kind of people who need to be reminded
of this, but…
No cheating.
You cannot “Google” or ask your doctor. And if you take
one or more of these medications, recuse yourself from those, and continue on
matching the ones you’ve never heard of.
The answers will be published shortly. If I remember. (Hm, maybe I do have…)
Anyway, good luck.
And enjoy the contest.
DISCLAIMER:
(TO BE READ EXTREMELY QUICKLY) “This contest was intended for the enjoyment
of the readership and was in no way constructed to discombobulate, irritate or
offend. In case negative reactions, you
should desist from participating in the contest immediately, and engage
yourself in some other activity. Do not
under any circumstances either sue or excoriate the writer. Though his efforts may have been misguided,
he was merely attempting to amuse.”
3 comments:
Would like to participate but Canadian channels practice simultaneous substitution of TV ads and prescription drug advertising is illegal. Probably just as well that we don't hear that a side effect of taking anti-depressants is suicide. Not an English major but isn't that irony? Or tragedy?
It's both, Fred.
While I've likely seen advertisements for most of the drugs on the list, I can only remember what 1 is for - I think. But that's not going to stop me from guessing. I've waited this long to do this as I was hoping to see some of the ads over the weekend. The only 2 I saw were for the one I am already fairly sure of, and Flonase (sp?), which of course, is not on your list!
ANORO - Morning sickness
ABREVA - Breathing probs
ABIERTO - Elevated blood sugar
BELVIQ - Weight loss
CYMBALTA - Cold sore
DULERA - Migranes
FARXIGA - Alzheimer's
JUBLIA - Swollen Jubles
NAMENDA XR - fictional drug
PREVNAR 13 - Asthma
RELPAX - Ingrown toenail
XARELTO - Blood thinner
ZOFRAN - Anti-depressant
ZOVIRAX - Cold sore
ZYLINDRA - Pneumonia
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