The majority of campers stayed for two months. But some campers – I imagined the poorer ones
– stayed for only one month. My snobbery concerning this matter was
exceeded only by my inaccuracy. In
reality, a number of campers went home after a month, not because they could not afford
to stay for two, but because their families, often the wealthiest ones, would spend the second
month vacationing in Europe. (I cannot specifically date when
I started being wrong about things. I
only know the tradition continues to this very day. And I am unhopeful about the future.)
During the “Changeover Period”, there was a two-day interim,
when the “First Monthers” had left but the “Second Monthers” had not yet
arrived. (Why they didn’t simply use one bus, where the arriving campers got
off and the departing campers got on, I have no idea. They may have needed time to fumigate the bus
from the arriving campers’ throw-up. But
that’s only a guess.)
I recall one summer, when, having only six original campers
in my cabin, four of them went home, leaving an entire cabin occupied by two
campers – myself and Jerry Wiseman.
(Historical Note: Longtime readers may find this name
familiar. I previously mentioned Jerry
Wiseman in the context of a hike, where Jerry, trekking at the back of an
extended column of campers, got stung by a bee, and after he was treated and
the hike resumed, Jerry Wiseman got stung a second
time, driving home the lesson of the hilarious arbitrariness of life. I could
have learned the same lesson if I’d
been stung twice, but I doubt if it would have been equally as funny.)
Six campers. And four
of them went home.
It was the best time I ever had.
A cabin with two campers in it provided flexibility unimaginable
in a larger group. Take voting for which
activities to request for the following day, as we would did every night,
before “Lights Out.” With the full
cabin, I was one vote out of six. Meaning
“doing nothing” was continually outvoted by doing something I hated and was
terrible at.
Even though “doing nothing” was not really an option, I now
had only one person to talk into “doing very little.” And Jerry Wiseman was not difficult to
persuade.
Being a “Cabin of Two” made us virtually immune to
obligation. Another cabin challenged us
to a lacrosse match, which would guarantee bruises and lacerations, due to the “accidental”
smashing of lacrosse racquets against our shins – “Sorry, there’s only two of
us.” – and they’d move on, challenging a cabin that could field a more
“team-worthy” compliment of players. And
lacerate their shins.
With the departure of the “First Monthers”, our cabin, once
congested, now felt spacious and commodious.
There was less clutter, and less to clean up. And less chance of a hostile cabin-mate
“accidentally” jabbing a broom handle into my ribs. No
chance, in fact. The mean ones had all gone
home. Jerry and I actually got along.
Having fewer campers to supervise, the counselors seemed
looser and less adversarial. It was like
World War I, when the soldiers on
both sides emerged from their trenches and sang Christmas songs together. I don’t know if we were elevated to
“counselor status” or they reverted to “camper status”, but, for a short period
of time, the delineation became seriously blurred. And
discipline noticeably lessened.
EARL: Do we
have to wash tonight?
COUNSELOR:
It’s up to you.
I didn’t wash.
Mealtime was the best.
The counselors sat at the ends of the table, leaving Jerry and me sole occupancy of an entire
bench. We could stretch out if we wanted
to, take catnaps between courses. Of
course, there was more food for each of us, but I didn’t eat the food, so there was a lot
more for Jerry. The exception? Dessert arrived, and after the counselors had
taken their slices, Jerry and I would “fifty-fifty” an entire platter of cake.
Sadly, this heavenly arrangement lasted just two days. Then the “Second Monthers” arrived, and the
party was over.
Second month campers – or as the Senior Boys called the
females as they filed off the bus, “New Meat” – were, almost generically,
uncomfortable. First, they arrived at
camp feeling “butterflies of unfamiliarity”, which for us, having been there a
month, were already long gone. Second –
though the problem was less seriou when joining a cabin with two campers in it
– they were required to fit in with a group who had bonded, and already liked –
or hated – each other.
Which brings me to “Cuppy.”
A nickname, tortured into English from an obscure. Yiddish counterpart.
“Cuppy”, moon-faced, with signs of pre-adolescent balding,
was not only a “Second Monther”, he had never been to camp before at all. This is a particularly difficult
adjustment. For which “Cuppy” was
conscientiously prepared.
Second – because “first” needs more going into – after
“Lights Out”, “Cuppy” would campaign for acceptability, by regaling his
cabin-mates with a series of what would at the time be considered, “dirty”
jokes, their punchlines were invariably delivered in a Yiddish-inflected
accent.
More significantly – which I justifiable label “First”,
though I am writing about it second – “Cuppy” arrived attired in a “Letter Man”
windbreaker, almost entirely covered with sewn-on badges, delineating
championship-level participation in an elaborate range of sports – baseball,
basketball, hockey (both ice and field) football, swimming,
track-and-field. In a jock-impressed
environment, these badges signaled instant acceptability.
What we quickly discovered, however, during our first scheduled
period of basketball, was that “Cuppy”, despite his myriad decorations, was
seriously uncoordinated and entirely inept.
The first time he got the ball, “Cuppy” immediately dribbled it off his
foot.
It was the same with everything “Cuppy’s” badges announced
he excelled at. There was no sport at
which he was not terrible. He was actually
worse than I was. And my
windbreaker had nothing sewn on it but pockets.
My curiosity piqued, after we became pals – and we remained
so for years thereafter – “Cuppy”
revealed that he had stolen all the badges from his school’s storeroom, and had
his mother sew them on his “Letter Man” jacket, which he also pilfered, in order to win favor among the strangers whose
company he was about to join.
Such was the pressure on the “Second Month” camper; you
would misrepresent yourself with unearned badges. Won over by his gentle nature, intelligence
and ready humor, I immediately forgave him for his subterfuge.
I did not, however, forgive him, or his fellow “Second Monthers” for showing up.
And neither, I believe, did Jerry Wiseman.
2 comments:
"Cuppy" is probably the president of a university somewhere or, perhaps, he is about to operate on someone without wasting his time at some expensive medical school. But I'll bet everyone likes him.
I don't know why but I love these camp stories as much as the "Story of a writer" series.
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