Monday, March 30, 2009

"Ordering A Pizza - New York Style"

There’s this new pizza place in the neighborhood – Joe’s Pizza. Joe’s originated in New York. New York pizza’s better than L.A. pizza, because New York has better water, which they put in the dough. So they fly it in – not the water, the dough. You can’t take water on an airplane.

Maybe it’s not the dough that makes the difference. Maybe it’s the special ovens, the same ovens they use in New York. I’m pretty sure it’s one of those two things. Possibly both.

I was looking forward to an authentic, New York pizza experience. I had no idea it would start with the phone call.

Joe’s Pizza. This is Tony. How can I help you?”

“I’d like to order a pizza to be delivered, please?”

“What’s the name?”

“Pomerantz. P-O-M-E-R-A-N-T-Z.”

“Okay, P…”








“You’re goin’ too fast.”


“T…Z. Pomerantz.


“What kind of a name is that?”

“I believe it’s Russian.”

“Are you Russian?”

“No, but my grandparents were.”

“That’s interesting.”

I give Tony my address and we continue.

“So what can I get for you?”

“I’d like a pizza, with mushrooms, garlic and basil.”

“One pizza, with mushrooms…garlic…and what?




“You sure?”


“I gotta tell ya, we don’t get a lot of basil orders in here.”

“It’s on the take-out menu.”

“I know, but nobody asks for it.”

“I want basil.”

“Okay, no problem. Anything else? Salad or sumpthin’?”

“No, thanks.”

“Italian, Cesar, antipasto….”

“Just the pizza.”

“No salad at all?”

“No salad.”

“Okay. That comes to twenty-one dollars. I’m not gonna charge you for the basil.”


“‘Cause I’m that kinda guy.”

"Thank you."

And we hang up.

The pizza turned out to be delicious. The phone call...even better.


bbot said...

Basil! Augh!

We've got one of those New York-style pizza places at work. Not only do they have basil, but they've also got rosemary and pesto, which would make a pretty... green... pizza.

growingupartists said...

You should eat at Space Aliens, it was tremendous! Even lost all the games.

Ms. Read said...

Hello! I heard about your blog from Audrey Dubuc and I'm writing you on your most recent posting so you'll see this. Loved reading your "Major Dad" blogs. For your interest little Casey Cooper - Chelsea Hertford - is graduating with her Masters in Art from Claremont next month. She became an artist. Check her show at Whit, from "Family Man" is still acting - just did guest spot on new Fox show "Glee" and is also turning to writing - he is also available through mine - and Brighton graduates in 3 weeks and is currently playing Lady MacBeth.
Love you Earl - Carol

Joe said...

There's a series in this.

A. Buck Short said...

The difference between a writer and another guy is that a lot of the other guys would merely have been annoyed, or if they enjoyed it as much, wouldn’t have enjoyed sharing it as much, or as well.

My wife and I dated in Boston for 6 months before I could finally get her to go out for a pizza. Then I went home with her to Virginia. You may have heard of her brother, one of the lesser known Waltons, Jewboy? The problem was immediately apparent. I insisted on ordering a pizza. Didn’t recognize it. Looked like the largest grilled cheese sandwich I’d ever seen. Never realized that in the South, before we were homogenized by Pizza Hut, tomato sauce was something one was expected to take in moderation. The pizza was square, the slices were square. We ordered pepperoni. They brought out the grilled cheese sandwich, sliced it in squares, and then, and only then, did they deposit a single pepperoni circle in the exact center of each square. That wasn’t a pizza. It was a Laura Ashley print.

We were in Dallas for two years before finally finding a NY style pie, a place called Brothers Pizza. Thick accents and all. I asked the woman behind the counter where they were from. She said Italy, and I enjoyed the pizza even more. About 5 years later they appeared in a newspaper article about some unrelated family issue. They were all from Bosnia. I took out an atlas, only to confirm how far that was from Trieste.

Once we looked a closed Pizza Inn for a filming location. We had to get approval from the corporate office, which happened to be here in Dallas. Quite cooperative, but the one thing I remember most is the single sentence the gentleman from corporate uttered in praise of their bill of fare: “We like to think we make a fine product.” Product? Can you imagine anyone who had ever actually personally made a pizza saying that?

angel said...

I LOVE NY Pizza!

One of the things I miss, living in LA. :-)

rms said...

I actually make my own pizza with my own homemade, handmade dough. I decided to try yours although I used Italian spices instead of basil (it included basil). Turned out to be delicious! Any more topping suggestions? (As long as it's vegetarian.)

Dazy said...

I am not a pizza expert either. I like pizza with chilled beer. Once I tried Gotham pizza with my colleague. I find Romario pizza tastier and soft too.