Friday, July 11, 2008
"Birthday Greetings, 7-11-2008"
The first time I met her
She was three, almost four,
When I walked in her house
She was playing on the floor.
“This is Earl,” said her Mom,
“Say ‘Hello’ to him, Honey.”
She looked up and saw me
And said, “You look funny.”
But she looked terrific,
Black hair, hazel eyes,
And a knowing expression
That told me she was wise.
I would, without question, be wealthy, in shekels
If I only had one for each of Rachel B’s freckles.
My objections to being a step-dad was mild
It’s instructive to practice on another guy’s child.
In the evening, she’d tell me,
“I’m going to put on a play.”
I said, “Go right ahead.”
She said, “What should I say?”
The entire performance
Wouldn’t last very long,
It was bedtime – “Wash and Brush”
Then “Good night”, with three songs.
It started out awkward
With my girlfriend’s young girl,
She had a real Dad
I was always just “Earl.”
But when we picked her up from the sitter
Though I wasn’t her Pap
I felt ever so special
As she slept in my lap.
My mother had measles
When I was a prenatal baby,
Little Rachel told people,
“Earl’s mother had rabies.”
And then I remember there was this one other time
When Sam Waterston was considering acting in a sitcom of mine.
I told Rachel about our meeting, she was now a young lady,
She raced to her Mom, screaming,
"Sam 'What’s-his-name' said ‘Maybe’!”
We were almost both killed
And we really got wet-sky,
When we went to Aruba
And rented some jet skis.
“‘Copter ride, anyone?”
Mom and Anna weren’t buyin’,
Rachel shouted, “I’ll go!”
And we “choppered” through Zion. (National Park.)
I’ve called her Kidder and Roonie and Rooster and more,
She has so many rooster chachkes
She could open a “Rooster Store.”
She’s always available for a hug or a hike
She’s smart, she likes kitties
What’s there not to like?
She’s thoughtful, she’s caring
She bakes cupcakes and pie.
Is there anything missing?
She could use a great guy.
My mother once told me
“I hope all my wishes for you come true”,
Which drove me to therapy
For a decade or two.
I have no wish to make you neurotic or blue
So I’ll leave all your birthday wishes to you.
I’ll just proudly say “Howdy!” and shout it quite loudy,
I love and admire Birthday Girl, Rachel Braude.
Have a wonderful, lucky "7-11" birthday. And happiness forever.
E. Raymond Pomerantz.