"Poof!"

A “Behind the Curtain” tidbit:

I like to keep a number of posts ahead as a hedge against unforeseen circumstances, or for when I’m on vacation somewhere where I will not be writing and I want to leave you something to read while I’m away. 

Sometimes, however, I will write a post whose content requires immediate publication because of its currency, like the one I wrote recently about a homegrown train wreck, the misbehaving, red-faced Mayor of Toronto.

When I write a post that I believe would benefit from immediate publication, what I do is, I bump a scheduled but less urgent post to the back of the pack (my blog program allows me to schedule posts ahead) and I insert the post that needs immediate publishing in its place.

What a lengthy build-up this has turned out to be.  I am starting to wonder if it’s worth it.  Oh well.  In for a penny, in for a pound, as they say in England, although I lived there for a year and a half and I never heard anyone say that once.

Let’s get specific here.  I write a post about this hot-air balloon of a mayor on November the Twenty-first and I originally slot it at the end of the line of my already scheduled blog posts, the date being December the Sixth. 

I then think the better of that idea and I instead schedule the “Idiot Mayor” post for November the Twenty-second, which was the day after I wrote it. 

Normally, what this would mean was that, at least temporarily, there would be two blog posts scheduled for November the Twenty-second.  My next step would be to delete the post originally scheduled for November the Twenty-second, rescheduling it for December the Sixth. 

And then I’d have lunch.

The thing is, however, when I scroll down the “Scheduling List” to November the Twenty-second, I do not see two blog posts listed for that day, only the post about the “Idiot Mayor.”   

What I am telling you, therefore, is that the story I had originally scheduled for November the Twenty-second…

Had completely and totally…

Disappeared.

(I would say, “Cue the ‘Twilight Zone’ music”, but that’s a cliché and everyone knows I do not stoop to the obvious.  Though I am not averse to snootily dismissing the possibility in passing.)

I was certain there had been a post there.  I had posts scheduled five days a week all the way to December the Fifth.  And I do not as a rule leave gaps.  There is no reason I would arbitrarily skip November the Twenty-second.  There had definitely been something scheduled for that particular day.

But where on earth was that blog post now?

(It has just flashed in my mind that perhaps the larger-than-life-but-not-in-a-good-way Mayor of Toronto had eaten it.  But I dismissed that possibility as being both a cheap shot and highly unlikely.)

Desperately, I scrolled up and down the “Scheduling List”, searching for the post that seemed somehow to have evaporated into thin air.  But to no avail.  My once-scheduled blog post was nowhere to be found.

I then panicked because, when my carefully planned routine is unexpectedly disrupted, that’s what I do.  However, after a surprising short time – for me – my panic surrendered its grip and my reinstated consciousness came up with an idea.

Before I transfer my posts to my blog, I first write and rework their contents on Microsoft Word.  Therefore, to alleviate this crisis, all I had to do was to go to Microsoft Word, refer to the list of my most recent writings, and compare it with the list of scheduled posts.  The title I found listed in Microsoft Word that was not included on my blog’s advanced “Scheduling List” – that would be my missing blog post!

I would then “Copy” and “Paste” the elusive post from Microsoft Word to my blog, schedule it for December the Sixth, and – “Bob’s your uncle” whatever that means – the post is returned and scheduled, rather than lost and wasted.

Am I a genius, or what?

It turns out, I’m a “what.”

Comparing the two lists, I discovered that there was no Word document over the past month that had not already been transferred to my blog. 

Apparently, my originally-scheduled November the Twenty-second story had vanished from Microsoft Word as well. 

Meaning,

It appeared that my errant story was nowhere to be found.

I was extremely unhappy.  And highly agitated to boot.  I had written a post and I was unable to locate it anywhere, meaning in practical terms that I had worked very hard for a considerable number of hours for nothing.  And now no one would ever get to enjoy it.  Including myself.  As I had no idea what I had written.

Truth be told – and I actually have told it in this venue – over the years, I have had other things disappear on me.  I have two stick pens from my desk set that go away – not together, separately – often for months at a time.  Though they always, eventually, reappear. 

I have also reported losing a clipboard while I was actually using it.  It took me two hours to track it down, and through that entire period – from “lost” until “found” – all I was doing was sitting in a chair!

But the clipboard also came back.  This blog post seems to have vamoosed for the duration!

I just hate the idea of wasted work.  I mean, who knows?  That missing one?  That could have been the most spectacular blog post I had ever written.  On the other hand, you know about the unconscious.  The post may well have contained a story I was secretly ashamed of, and somehow my unconscious, feeling guilty for making the story conscious in the first place – and then public – found some mysterious way of protecting me from the embarrassment. 

I hope it’s that second one.  And if it is, thank you.

There is, however, a lesson in this misfortune. 

You make plans for certain eventualities and then unforeseen eventualities make a laughingstock of your plans.

On the bright side, it at least gave me something to write about.

But, since this is merely a replacement for the post that deconstructed into the ether, it will not get me one blog post ahead.

It will only keep me even.