"Farewell To A 'Follower'"

Consider this a momentary “pit stop” in the hurtling juggernaut that is this blog.

I don’t know how many people read this blog, and I don’t want to know. But every day, when I go through the procedure for publishing my latest post, I am confronted by this icon called “Followers.” I can’t avoid looking at it. It’s right there.

Looking at me.

The icon, maybe that’s the wrong word, maybe it’s an indicator, whatever it is, it’s presented in the form of a number of green silhouettes, each lined up behind and slightly to the left of the silhouette in front of it. No facial features. No individualization at all. Just a series of head and torso outlines. It’s kind of creepy, actually.

I’m still not exactly sure what “Followers” means. But once, after writing my post for the day, my curiosity overcame my reluctance to uncover anything that might damage my morale, and I clicked on it.

It took me to someone else’s blog. That was the extent of my curiosity. I didn’t read the “Follower’s” blog beyond the first sentence or two, because, one, I knew it would stay there, and I could read it any time I wanted, and two, to be totally honest, once I’m finished writing for the day, I’m pretty much worn out.

According to the indicator, I currently have three “Followers.”

Last week, I had four.

The math – in this case, subtraction – indicates that my blog recently experienced a drop-off in “Followers” to the tune of twenty-five per cent.

That’s big. Don’t you think?

I am reminded of the book I just read called, The Coldest Winter, about the Korean War. And I’m thinking, if there were four soldiers huddled in a foxhole, and one of them got picked off, that loss would represent a dangerous drop in manpower, and a worrying threat to the surviving foxhole personnel.

Four to three. True, it’s a drop of only one number. But you can’t help but notice.

There is no plan to this blog. Call it a pastiche. A little “Story of a Writer”, a little “Interview With a Giraffe”; yesterday, it was “The Evolution of Sociology.” That was cool. I mean, it’s no “Cross-over Porn Stars”, but why duplicate what other blogs do better?

There’s no overarching theme to this blog, no capsulizing, “This is what it’s about.” Other than, Just Thinking…, which I try to keep doing on a regular basis.

Describing my blog, to paraphrase the great philosopher, Popeye…

It is what it is, and that’s all what it is.

“Follower Number Four”, who once thought it was meaningful to be “Follower Number Four”, decided last week that it wasn’t.

Why? Who knows? Maybe they got bored. Maybe they got busy. Maybe they passed away, and a relative cancelled their membership, feeling it was too creepy for their loved one to continue being a “Follower” after they were dead.

There could be any number of reasons “Follower Number Four” stopped “Following.” I’m sad that they dropped out, but what can I do?

Please come back, “Follower Number Four.” I’ll be funnier. I’ll be more relevant to your life. I’ll…

Stop. Groveling!

Sorry. Momentary lapse.

I guess there’s nothing left to say. Except to recycle the words my Great-Uncle Benny said to me the last time I saw him before I moved away to California.

“Follower Number Four?” (wherever you are)

Here’s hoping you miss me.

Tomorrow, I go back to work.

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Wait! I just looked. I'm back to four "Followers." Did they come back? Or is this a new one?

Who cares? I'm back to four!