"In Other Matters..."

To give you a recuperative breather and spread out our “Medley of Previous Burglaries”, which, with the Hawaiian break-in are now four in number, I am going to insert my reaction to a new Netflix comedy series that I…

Wait.

You’re not going to believe this.

The weekend after our return from Hawaii, Dr. M and I drove to Palm Springs to celebrate her brother Shelley’s seventieth birthday.

“I believe that.”

That’s only the setup.  Why would you think I’d say, “You’re not going to believe this” about that?

“Because you hate Palm Springs, you hate the drive, and, though you like your brother-in-law Shelley, you are not habitually one to make generous sacrifices.”

……………………………………..

“Sorry.  What’s the real ‘You’re not going to believe this’?” 

Sure, now that the damage is done.  Okay.  After an, arguably, surprise gesture of personal magnanimity – though nowhere near the standard of “You’re not going to believe this” – we got back from Palm Springs Sunday evening, only to discover – the following morning – that someone had pilfered my orange Beats headphones and its accompanying disc player out of our Exercise Room while we were gone.

I told you you weren’t going to believe it.

They hit us in Hawaii.

Then they hit us again.  (Though it was unlikely the same people.)

There go my Beats headphones and accompanying disc player that I use regularly, cardioing on our Exercise Room treadmill.  

Oh, yeah.  They took something else as well.

Inserted in the accompanying disc player – because I was listening to it – was “Disc 3” of the Audiobook version of Keith Richards’s autobiography, Life.  Unless I purchase an entirely new set, I will now never learn what kind of shenanigans Richards was up to on “Disc 3.”  Which frankly sours me on the whole process of continuing ahead.

“I don’t ‘get’ that reference.”

“He explains in on ‘Disc 3.’”

Who wants to go through that?

Reeling from the roiling experience at the Kahala Hotel and Resort – which, if you select to stay there, remember:  “Your door is not ‘Fully Secured’ until you hear it click twice.” – which, by the way, nobody told us about – we are subjected to a further affront to our sense of privacy, dignity and personal security, leading me to inwardly exclaim – and now outwardly as well –

“What the heck is going on!?!”

And by the way, whoever handles the “Karma:  Robbery Division”?

Come on, people. 

Move on!

We’re still dealing with replacing our credit cards and Driver’s Licenses from the burglary before.

Give us a break!

I am not at all sure what happened.  But it may again boil down to the fact that we are extremely nice people.

Here’s the thing.

Before departing for Palm Springs, we left our backyard gate open, so that the painters upgrading our house’s exterior could have access to the downstairs bathroom, for which the basement door was left open as well.

I know.  But do you really want to tell painters, “There is a public bathroom down at the park”?  Half a block from our house and recently comfortably refurbished, but still.

I hate to say it, but “Extremely nice people” is killing us.

It may actually be the case that, in this situation as well, there was an issue of a not “Fully Secured” door, this time, the back gate providing access, not just to the downstairs bathroom but also to the backyard Exercise Room where a second burglary of our property was committed in five days.

It It is also a fact that, due to our back-to-back absences, I had not seen the stolen headphones and accompanying disc player for close to two weeks.  So who knows what actually happened?

Though we found this package of batteries from the Exercise Room lying in our driveway when we re…

Hey, you know what?

The heck with it. 

So what if I never learn the specifics of how Keith originally met Mick.  The headphones – a gift from engineer son-in-law Colby who once developed audio products at Beats – were pretty expensive.  But they will not require a four-hour visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles to replace.  (As did my Driver’s License, stolen in Hawaii… is what I am trying to convey.)

What can I tell you?  Except…

I am slamming all doors from now on.

And there is nothing wrong with the bathroom in the park.