Monday, October 16, 2017

"Rhyming Jew - A Hip-Hop'Hamilton' Review"

It’s probably been already tried
But still, I’m really terrified.
What if I can’t do it?
Make a start but can’t get through it?
Take a shot
With what I got
And readers say, “Oh man, you blew it.”

Daughter Anna says, “Dad, show ‘em.
Writing rap is just a poem.”
But every poem style has its rules
And I’m afraid that I don’t know ‘em.

I lack diversity
Went to a Canadian university.
I’m just a fan
Who has a plan.
But who the heck do I think I am?

Earl Raymond Pomerantz
My name is Earl Raymond Pomerantz
And I decided that I’ll take the chance
Though unfamiliar with the circumstance
Don’t know the steps but gonna try to dance
If I mess up I’ll move away to France
Adieu to Earl Raymond Pomerantz.

Okay, okay, okay,
Let’s go –
Rhyming talk about the show.
Time to see just what I got
Now on the spot
Hope it’s a lot
But if it’s not
Like “Mr. H” up on the stage,
Hey, I am not giving up my shot.

Puh puh puh puh-puh puh-puh puh…
Puh puh puh puh-puh puh-puh puh…

Me and Momma Rachel,
Sittin’ Fourth Row in the middle
So close to the orchestra
They coulda handed me a fiddle.
Wonderin’ if “Hamilton” will be a memorable event
Worthy of the hype
And all the money that we spent.

Dr. M’s already seen it
But she can’t comprehend the clamoring
The production has its charms, for sure,
But it’s no Rodgers and Hammerstein.
Still, the audience is excited, psyched and champing at the bit
There is nothing like the rush
Of a crowd with tickets to a hit.

And then it starts
To pumping hearts
And great anticipating cheers
Five minutes in,
We start to grin
The show’s allaying all our fears.

A history lesson, so complete –
England’s defeat
The Constitution
A “Who’da thunk it?” revolution.
Then brutal fights
About states’ rights.
All from the man who gave us
In The Heights.

Legislative acts galore,
Debt assumption from the war,
Where to put the capital, and more.
Slavery’s ignored, a catastrophic defeat
This crazy tale
Right wins and fails
Set to a propulsive hip-hop beat.

Race, per se, is not a factor
The show’s a pigmentary blur
George Washington’s played by a black actor
And in that motif, so’s Aaron Burr.

It’s all pulled off with peak precision
Like some designer cuckoo clock
Three full hours, with intermission
Mostly singing, rarely talk.

The crowd is in it
Every minute
The man beside me’s jiggling his knee
I wouldn’t mind
I’m acting kind
But his jiggling knee keeps jostling mine.

A show of pageantry and history
Music, dance, intrigue and fun.
But the line that brings down the house
It’s so reliable.
It’s undeniable. 
It’s “Immigrants – we get the job done.”

And yet, if honestly recorded
Although theatrically rewarded
The show was great
But I must state
To being not emotionally transported

If there’s something missing in the drama
We have Hamilton to thank.
What did he do,
For me and you?
The man wasn't Davy Crockett
He created
 a bank.

Cut away the brilliant stagecraft
In its dazzling amount and
What you’re left with is a story
About our first, real smart accountant.

He got shot in a duel
And so, sadly, did his son,
Sending Burr on the run
Sapping the celebratory fun.
But we ate it all up
We had way more than our fill
And now our hero’s looking back at us
From a crisp ten-dollar bill.

(Though that may not last
 As protesting opponents make clear
 They want Hamilton out,
 Replaced by Sacajawea.)

I have written this as best as I could
My apologies if it wasn’t good
Lesson learned:
You can get burned
Wearing another fellow’s clothes
Hope to see you here tomorrow
When I go back to writing prose.

I’ve done my best
To face the hip-hop-writing test
And now I’m tired
From getting inspired
Coming down from being wired
So I’m going to take a rest.

Earl Raymond Pomerantz
That’s right, it’s Earl Raymond Pomerantz,
And I am happy that I took the chance.
But I’d like to shake the hand ‘a
The great Lin Manuel Miranda.
Success, acclaim, everybody knows his name.
And after that, they say, “You wanna?’
The man sits down
He goes to town
And writes the hit song from Moana.

He’s one-of-a-kind
And if you deny it
Sit down, pick up a pen,
My friend
And try it.


Ian said...

The only wise thing to do
would be respond in kind,
with a lyrical missive
that springs to mind

Earl's writing up storms
on his blog each day,
How many drafts were made
only he can say

Earl's mast'ry of craft
and wordsmithery,
are deserving of praise
and benedictory

I do apologise, Earl, but even someone that can't write for toffee (or any other reward) occasionally feels inspired enough to attempt something completely out of character...

Thank you (and the banana thing is still never far from my mind)!

Ed J. said...

Word count?

Anonymous said...

Somewhat ironically, the name that everyone knows is spelled Lin, not Lyn.

Lin-Manuel Arms said...

Nice job, you're to be bigly admired.