America is the Free Speech country. (Unless you make a silly comedy about a
Korean dictator.) Still – or maybe because – it’s a Free Speech country,
Americans – though not exclusively
Americans – have adopted successful strategies for, when people begin
exercising their Free Speech rights with an opinion, you have a reliable method
for shutting them up.
Which in a way is a good idea; otherwise, everybody would be
spouting off about everything all the time and you would not be able to hear
yourself think… about the right way of
thinking about things, which of course is our own way, and the way of the people who agree with us, who are, of
course again, as right about
everything as we are – God bless our collective accurate perceptions!
Over the last couple of days, when one comes to mind,
I have been jotting down a word or a phrase used to invalidate people’s
opinions and put them speechlessly in their place. It works something like this.
Somebody says something, somebody else takes umbrage or
offence – if those mean two different things – and they say something in reply that
stops the original speaker in their
expressatory tracks, their reaction sometimes accompanied by a noticeable gasp
– either of exasperation, or humiliation and shame, depending on their particular
temperament. Whatever the nature of the gasp…
The conversation is over.
(Though there may on occasion, depending on the participants, be some
subsequent fisticuffs, or less frequently these days, a duel. But mostly, it’s silence, and then you
tentatively move on.)
Here now are some of those conversation-stopping words and
phrases. Along with some hopefully
helpful implicational translations.
Here’s the first conversation-ender. When you call somebody
Preachy.
(Translation: “Not
only do I disagree with what you are saying, but you express yourself in an
annoyingly superior and condescending manner.
It’s like you were speaking for the Lord, for heavens sakes!” Hence the word “preachy.”)
You hear that, you heave a sigh (if not as gasp), and you
give up. I mean, what is the appropriate
comeback for being labeled “preachy”? “No,
I’m not!” is not really that strong.
“No, you’re preachy!”, is significantly weaker. Plus, you sound like you’re seven.
You surrender and you simply stop talking. At least about that.
Next “conversation stopper”:
Opinionated.
(Translation:
“You have this insistence in your voice indicating that you sincerely
believe what you are saying!)”
Yeah? (As in “And your
point is…?”)
Cynical.
Translation:
“What you are saying may indeed have legitimate merit, but it is so incendiarily
disruptive, the reasonable people have decided not to talk about it.”)
Simplistic.
(Translation:
“You are excluding of a lot of the specifics.”)
Wonky.
(Translation:
“You are including way too many
of the specifics.”)
Overly-Emotional.
(Translation:
“You are using your heart instead of your head.”)
Dispassionate.
(Translation:
“Have you no feelings whatsoever?”)
Self-Interested.
(Translation: (“Your
positions seem to advantage your own personal situation.” A reasonable retort to which is: “Who’s don’t?”)
Pessimistic.
(Translation:
Of course you believe the sky is falling.)
Pollyannaish.
(Translation:
Of course you believe the sun will come out tomorrow! But have a chat with a pessimist and you will
discover that you’re wrong!)
Too Young.
(Translation:
“You lack sufficient experience.”)
Too Old.
(Translation:
“You have a ton of experience.
But it is unhelpfully outdated.)
Tedious. Boring.
Repetitive. Long-winded.
(Translation:
“I’m sorry. Are you still
talking?”
And finally, the umbrella conversation-squelcher:
“Not being a… (INSERT THE APPROPRIATE QUALIFIER HERE, FROM
MEMBER OF A SPECIFIC ETHNICITY, GENDER, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, PERSON WHO GREW UP LIVING
NEXT TO A FREEWAY, ETC.)… you could not possibly understand.”
(Translation: “I
know, and you don’t. So do everybody a
favor and STOP TALKING!”)
These, and I am certain many other words and phrases appropriated
precisely for the purpose – and perhaps you can add to the list – invariably
instantly curtail any further discussion on the matter currently at hand. As a result, what you are left with is a cavernous
divide, where people wind up stewing angrily in their own ideological juices and
nobody harboring differing opinions connects, creating a world of ever-increasing
isolation, suspicion and mistrust.
Of course, that could just be me, being preachy.
Or opinionated…
Or overly-emotional…
Or boring…
Or pessimistic…
Or too old…
2 comments:
The one I hate with the passion of...whatever...is "Overreacting". No one's said it to me in many years, but when they used to my reaction was pure rage: Who the FUCK are you to tell me what my appropriate reaction to this should be?"
Good posting.
Nitpick: *America* didn't stop anyone from making, showing, or distributing a silly movie about a North Korean dictator.
wg
I suppose "Who asked?" would also be a show stopper. And an emphatic "JESUS!" should work, too. Pretending to snore is effective, as well as getting up and walking out. Use your fingers to imitate that you're shooting yourself in the head.
Although duels are out-dated, that doesn't exclude anyone from shooting you/me/anybody at all.
And finally, even tho you've been in this country for quite a while, you occasionally still use Canadian spellings. Just an observation, don't shoot me!
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