Thursday, January 2, 2014


A “Behind the Curtain” tidbit:

I like to keep a number of posts ahead as a hedge against unforeseen circumstances, or for when I’m on vacation somewhere where I will not be writing and I want to leave you something to read while I’m away. 

Sometimes, however, I will write a post whose content requires immediate publication because of its currency, like the one I wrote recently about a homegrown train wreck, the misbehaving, red-faced Mayor of Toronto.

When I write a post that I believe would benefit from immediate publication, what I do is, I bump a scheduled but less urgent post to the back of the pack (my blog program allows me to schedule posts ahead) and I insert the post that needs immediate publishing in its place.

What a lengthy build-up this has turned out to be.  I am starting to wonder if it’s worth it.  Oh well.  In for a penny, in for a pound, as they say in England, although I lived there for a year and a half and I never heard anyone say that once.

Let’s get specific here.  I write a post about this hot-air balloon of a mayor on November the Twenty-first and I originally slot it at the end of the line of my already scheduled blog posts, the date being December the Sixth. 

I then think the better of that idea and I instead schedule the “Idiot Mayor” post for November the Twenty-second, which was the day after I wrote it. 

Normally, what this would mean was that, at least temporarily, there would be two blog posts scheduled for November the Twenty-second.  My next step would be to delete the post originally scheduled for November the Twenty-second, rescheduling it for December the Sixth. 

And then I’d have lunch.

The thing is, however, when I scroll down the “Scheduling List” to November the Twenty-second, I do not see two blog posts listed for that day, only the post about the “Idiot Mayor.”   

What I am telling you, therefore, is that the story I had originally scheduled for November the Twenty-second…

Had completely and totally…


(I would say, “Cue the ‘Twilight Zone’ music”, but that’s a cliché and everyone knows I do not stoop to the obvious.  Though I am not averse to snootily dismissing the possibility in passing.)

I was certain there had been a post there.  I had posts scheduled five days a week all the way to December the Fifth.  And I do not as a rule leave gaps.  There is no reason I would arbitrarily skip November the Twenty-second.  There had definitely been something scheduled for that particular day.

But where on earth was that blog post now?

(It has just flashed in my mind that perhaps the larger-than-life-but-not-in-a-good-way Mayor of Toronto had eaten it.  But I dismissed that possibility as being both a cheap shot and highly unlikely.)

Desperately, I scrolled up and down the “Scheduling List”, searching for the post that seemed somehow to have evaporated into thin air.  But to no avail.  My once-scheduled blog post was nowhere to be found.

I then panicked because, when my carefully planned routine is unexpectedly disrupted, that’s what I do.  However, after a surprising short time – for me – my panic surrendered its grip and my reinstated consciousness came up with an idea.

Before I transfer my posts to my blog, I first write and rework their contents on Microsoft Word.  Therefore, to alleviate this crisis, all I had to do was to go to Microsoft Word, refer to the list of my most recent writings, and compare it with the list of scheduled posts.  The title I found listed in Microsoft Word that was not included on my blog’s advanced “Scheduling List” – that would be my missing blog post!

I would then “Copy” and “Paste” the elusive post from Microsoft Word to my blog, schedule it for December the Sixth, and – “Bob’s your uncle” whatever that means – the post is returned and scheduled, rather than lost and wasted.

Am I a genius, or what?

It turns out, I’m a “what.”

Comparing the two lists, I discovered that there was no Word document over the past month that had not already been transferred to my blog. 

Apparently, my originally-scheduled November the Twenty-second story had vanished from Microsoft Word as well. 


It appeared that my errant story was nowhere to be found.

I was extremely unhappy.  And highly agitated to boot.  I had written a post and I was unable to locate it anywhere, meaning in practical terms that I had worked very hard for a considerable number of hours for nothing.  And now no one would ever get to enjoy it.  Including myself.  As I had no idea what I had written.

Truth be told – and I actually have told it in this venue – over the years, I have had other things disappear on me.  I have two stick pens from my desk set that go away – not together, separately – often for months at a time.  Though they always, eventually, reappear. 

I have also reported losing a clipboard while I was actually using it.  It took me two hours to track it down, and through that entire period – from “lost” until “found” – all I was doing was sitting in a chair!

But the clipboard also came back.  This blog post seems to have vamoosed for the duration!

I just hate the idea of wasted work.  I mean, who knows?  That missing one?  That could have been the most spectacular blog post I had ever written.  On the other hand, you know about the unconscious.  The post may well have contained a story I was secretly ashamed of, and somehow my unconscious, feeling guilty for making the story conscious in the first place – and then public – found some mysterious way of protecting me from the embarrassment. 

I hope it’s that second one.  And if it is, thank you.

There is, however, a lesson in this misfortune. 

You make plans for certain eventualities and then unforeseen eventualities make a laughingstock of your plans.

On the bright side, it at least gave me something to write about.

But, since this is merely a replacement for the post that deconstructed into the ether, it will not get me one blog post ahead.

It will only keep me even. 


Wendy M. Grossman said...

Never, never, never,
Faint heart never won fair lady!
Nothing venture, nothing win—
Blood is thick, but water's thin—
In for a penny, in for a pound—
It's Love that makes the world go round!

Gilbert and Sullivan, mocking cliches in Iolanthe to one of the best melodies ever. Which I guess I thought of because your Lost Post is clearly a modern reinvention of Arthur Sullivan's The Lost Chord.

Anonymous said...

(It has just flashed in my mind that perhaps the larger-than-life-but-not-in-a-good-way Mayor of Toronto had eaten it. But I dismissed that possibility as being both a cheap shot and highly unlikely.)

Considering his actions of late I don't think you could ever stoop to his level Earl even if you were trying :)

Happy New Year and thanks again for all your stories!