“Butterflies” is a
Spoonerism, a “spoonerism” defined as “the transposition of the initial or
other sounds of words”, a verbal slip associated with English clergyman W.A.
Spooner (1840-1930.) In a spoonerism, a
“flutter by” which in reality is what they do becomes a “butterfly.” I mention this so that if this post is not to
your liking, at least you learned something.
“Spoonerism”
substantiates of my assertion that sometimes, when a person is associated with
a certain behavior, their name evolves into a commonly used descriptive for
that behavior. Pierre Legerdemain’s acts
of amazement bafflement made his name synonymous with the word “magic.” The latter example, however, may possibly be
made up. Though this does not exclude
the possibility that it was made up but on further investigation it actually turns
out to be correct.
Now…
Camp shows were invariably on Saturday nights. Sometimes, they were “book shows”, scripted
musicals like Peter Pan where I
played “Smee” a secondary role which I used to steal the show, or Hans Christian Andersen, where I played “The Dance Instructor”,
a role not in the original script but was which added to give me a part to play
because they wouldn’t let me play “Hans” even though I had learned all the
songs and I really wanted to do it.
They had a girl (Tanis Rohr) play “Hans Christian Anderson”,
following their having a girl (Wendy Krangle) play “Peter Pan” the summer
before. I mean, geez, maybe there are fewer great parts for women, but do
they have to take the men’s parts away from them and hand them over to girls? Man, that pissed me off fifty years ago! And I am not entirely over it today.
Aside from the “book shows”, there were also “talent shows”
scheduled on Saturday nights, where I got a chance to regale the assemblage
with my heartfelt performance of “The Wayward Wind”, or a comedic “song
reading”, in which I’d do hyper-dramatic renditions of 50’s pop songs, such as…
Who
Put the bomp
In the bomp
Buh bomp
Buh bomp?
Who
Put the ram
In the
Rama
Lama
Ding-dong?
Finally, Saturday nights also delivered message-laden
dramatic pageants, serving as culminations for three-day camp-wide programs
proclaiming the urgent need for world peace and international cooperation. (For campers, six to sixteen.)
I remember a line, in reference to the casualties resulting
from the World War II bombings of
Hiroshima and Nagasaki that went,
“Where will they ever get
enough wood to build fifty thousand crosses?”
Ignoring the fact that the vast majority of the casualties
at Hiroshima and Nagasaki were not Christians.
I generally got big parts in pageants. I played the martyred leader Imre Nagy in the
“Hungarian Revolution” pageant. I also
played Ghandi, less because I was a good actor than because Ghandi was known
for his hunger strikes, and I was the skinniest kid in camp because I refused
to eat the food.
“Book show”, talent show or pageant, Saturday night was
“show night.” At least three Saturdays a
summer, I was up there, performing in something.
And whenever that happened, I would always get “butterflies.” (Boy, that took a long time to get there,
didn’t it?)
The “butterflies” attacked the moment I got up. I was distracted the entire day, and no fun
to be around. A situation that made me
even less popular with my cabin-mates than usual, if that were possible, and it
turned out it was. Though not entirely
without reason.
EARL: I know I didn’t catch the ball. Will you leave me alone? I’ve got a show tonight!”
I tried to exploit my condition to get out of things I
didn’t like.
“Can I skip ‘Swim Instruction’? I’ve got a show tonight.”
That would never work, because I was unable to establish a
credible relationship between “Swim Instruction” and the show.
“How can I concentrate on the ‘Flutter Kick’? I’ve got a show tonight!”
No sale.
The biggest price I paid for having “butterflies” on “show
night” was at the Saturday dinner. This
was the unkindest cut of all.
I ate nothing at camp.
I needed two sets of clothes – one set for July, and another for August
when I had lost so much weight my July clothes didn’t fit anymore. The one exception, the only meal I excitedly
anticipated because it was edible was hot dogs and chips (French fries.) That was my favorite meal. I looked forward to it all week.
When did they serve hot dogs and chips?
Saturday nights.
And on show nights, I was too nervous to eat them.
The “butterflies” multiplied as we got closer to show
time. My heart would start
pounding. My throat would close up. I’d feel constantly thirsty and have to race
down to the “Pump House” behind the Rec Hall where the shows were put on, where
I would lap down gulps of the coldest, most metallic tasting water I have ever
drunk. It was like licking a frozen, water
pipe.
All that drinking and I’d have to pee. (And the Boys’ bathroom was at the other end
of camp.)
I could not remember my lines. I could not remember what play I was in. I could barely remember what I was doing there. But I was dressed in costume and wearing
makeup, so I knew I was doing something,
probably a show.
As the time to go on drew closer, my hands were
shaking. My voice suddenly turned raspy. I could not have felt more anxious, more
feverish, more miserable, more scared.
And I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
“Butterflies” means it’s important.
A heightened experience that matters.
“Butterflies” reflects the climactic confrontation between
the moment and the guy. And the outcome
– good or awful – was entirely up to me.
To this very day, when I go to a show, I identify with the
people about to perform. Sometimes, I
actually feel their butterflies.
And I envy them terribly for having them.
Well, at least I experienced them at camp. And a time or two afterwards. During four episodes on The Bobbie Gentry Show. The
warm-ups for Taxi and Cheers.
A fundraising production at my daughter’s High School, where I performed
a monolog I had written before hundreds of people.
And every time it happened – there it was.
“Butterflies.”
The ultimate compliment concerning that agonizing condition?
It is worth missing hot dogs and chips for.
No comments:
Post a Comment