Thursday, November 24, 2011

"A Break In The Action"

I have a short break here. So I thought I’d slip away and connect with you on this most wonderful of holidays – great food, no presents. I don’t know how long I’ve got. I’m on twenty-four hour “Stand-by Alert.”

I have a crucially important job on Thanksgiving. It is my responsibility – and my responsibility alone – and my great honor as well, I might add – to empty the dish drain. Like most dish drains – I’m not singling ours out – our dish drain sits beside our sink, holding draining dishes, pots and pans and silverware (known in Canada as cutlery.) When the dish drain is full and the dishes, pots and pans and cutlery – I mean, silverware – are dry,

I empty it.

That’s my job.

If it is not self-evident – and I actually believe it is – let me explain why emptying the dish drain is such a significant responsibility.

If the dish drain is not regularly emptied, there will be no place to put the newly washed dishes, pots and pans and silverware, waiting to be drained. I make sure that doesn’t happen. How?

I empty the dish drain.

And when it’s re-filled.

I empty it again.

Also – especially on Thanksgiving, because of the volume of dishes to be cooked – I myself cook none of these dishes; I am too busy emptying the dish drain – some of the pots and pans, serving as cooking vessels for more than one dish, need to be re-used.

By emptying the dish drain, I speed up the availability of those pots and pans, and by so doing, I keep everything moving, insuring that the Thanksgiving Dinner is completed on time. Nobody wants a late Thanksgiving Dinner. People get cranky. I make sure that doesn’t happen.

An argument can be made that, as the enabling engine of the entire operation, emptying the dish drain is the most important job in the whole Thanksgiving Day preparational process. Others – those making the delicious turkey and the stuffing, fixing the mouth-watering side dishes, and baking the delectable desserts, may reasonably disagree. Though I believe the preceding description of my significance speaks for itself.

In case, however, additional evidence is required, I would simply add that the essentiality of my contribution is such that…


Sorry, I have to go.

They need me to empty the dish drain.

You know, I’m kinda like a surgeon.

“Dr. Pomerantz. To the dish drain. Dr. Pomerantz? The dish drain. Stat!”

What can I tell you? I am just that important.

Happy Thanksgiving.

And dish drainers across the country…

I salute you.


PG said...

We, up here in your home and native land, send you good wishes on this holiday.
We, of course, have long since feasted on the seasonal fowl and shown our gratitude back in October, when the weather held and the leaves were in full 'show'.
We have since been hunkering down, changing our tires, fluffing our down-filled Eddie Bauers, awaiting the first signs of winter, which, thanks to global warming, have, thus far, eluded us.
You are definitely correct in asserting the significance of the 'dish-drainer-emptier' in the vast scheme of feast prep.
Best wishes to the chef!
Bon apetit!

aug said...

This is my first "blog" or response to a blog. I am not sure if it is cyber etiquette to change the topic or not, but I am. I just had great Saturday morning in front of my fire, with a cup of coffee, cat on my lap and again enjoyed one of my favourite all time television episodes of any series, "Ted's Change of Heart." I have seen it of course before, but when the last scene again struck me emotionally (in a good way ;) I decided to find out about the writer of this really intelligent, comedic episode. I found this BLOG. Of course I was thrilled to find a fellow Canuck behind the words. Anyway, wanted to let you know, your words still warm hearts on grey November Saturday mornings in Canada. For me, with of course the help of those gifted actors, there is no higher point in a 30minute episode of television.

Mac said...

Happy Thanksgiving Earl. I don't really know what it's about - something to do with the harvest - but it gave us "Planes, Trains and Automobiles," so it's good enough for me.

CFOFU said...

What an amazing Thanksgiving we shared at the Pomerantz lovely home! I must say they are the most welcoming, friendly, interesting, wonderful family you could ever have the pleasure to break bread with. Thanks again for the lovely dinner and company.