Wednesday, September 16, 2009

"A Workout For 'The Lazy Tongue'"

I learned this at the Actors’ Workshop. Although it was a Method acting school, the place was, after all, still in London, where diction matters. So it was not surprising that one of our teachers, an Englishman, dedication himself to the eradication of garbled enunciation, especially “amongst the Colonials”, dubbing himself The Mortal Enemy of the Lazy Tongue.

To the end of combating telltale Lazy Tongue tendencies, students were required to repeat this vacuous little doggerel, over and over, as quickly as was tongually possible.

I will transcribe it the way my ears originally heard it. But feel free to deliver it in whichever dialect you prefer.

Okay, now.

As fast and as often as you can.

And work that tongue!

Betty Bohtuh boht some buttuh

But she said, “This buttuh’s bittuh

If I put it in my battuh

It will make my battuh bittuh

But a bit of bettuh buttuh

Bettuh than this bittuh buttuh

Will but make my bittuh battuh bettuh.

If your tongue needs a nap, you’ve performed it correctly.


A. Buck Short said...

By Bob you've Bought it !

Late with this, but at our hospital they have a name for those who arrive with soft Harley Davidson caps as opposed to hard Harley Davidson helmets: organ donors.

Grubber said...

I tried, but I think I just bit my but......I doubt he and I would get along well :)

Joe said...

Sounds like he was the mohtal enemy of the lettah ah.

viagra online said...

Such a funny story! I think Actors’ Workshop is a nice place to go and work out and have fun at the same time. Just by hearing lazy tongue I can't stop laughing.

Viagra said...

That was quite difficult!