Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Welcome

Welcome,

I’m Earl Pomerantz. I used to write for television. I was pretty good.

Since I’m not technically skilled – without the generous help of Ken Levine I wouldn’t even have gotten this far – I haven’t included an “About Me.” If you’re interested, you can look me up on "IMDB." I’m proud of my credits, except perhaps for one. I acted in a movie called "Cannibal Girls." Pretty girls pick up hitchhikers, lure them home promising certain enticements – I can’t remember what they were, though I remember the pretty girls didn’t button their shirts all the way up. After serving us a sumptuous banquet, the pretty girls kill us and eat us. I can’t recommend "Cannibal Girls", since I haven’t seen it all the way through. I was the first one to get hacked to pieces and eaten, and since the movie to that point was terrible and disgusting, I’ve no incentive to watch the rest of it. Once in a very long while, "Cannibal Girls" is shown on a cable station in my hometown of Toronto, after which, like clockwork, I receive a residual check for eleven cents. That’s eleven cents Canadian money, which used to be nine cents American money but now, with the plummeting American dollar, it’s twelve cents. All told, over the years, I must have raked in close to a dollar.

What’s this blog going to be about? Well, for one thing, I like to tell stories about things that happened to me. For example, when I was nine years old, I was sent to summer camp without being told I was going. So there’s that. In 1967, I lived in London where I went to acting school, while surviving as a substitute teacher who had no idea how to teach and later, as a toy wrapper at Harrod’s department store, where I had a boss from Glasgow whose accent was so thick, the entire time I was there, I didn’t have the slightest clue what he was telling me to do. I also met the princess of Luxembourg. So there’s that too.

I have, not a lot of interests, but a few passionate ones. I go to Extension classes at UCLA where I study mostly philosophy and history. I’m a fan of the major sports, still follow the Leafs and the Blue Jays (Toronto teams), but I’ll watch anything if it’s good. Two things I like about sports – there’s an indisputable outcome to every game, and sometimes, a player will do something so amazing, you can call in your wife who doesn’t care about sports to watch the replay and she’ll think it’s amazing too.

Of course, I love comedy and always have. My first viewing of Abbott and Costello’s "Who’s On First?" routine made me laugh so hard, my mother panicked, fearing I might be laughing myself to death. I like T.V. and movies, though I recoil cowardly…ly from violence. My passion, however, is old cowboy movies, especially the cheesy “B” westerns of the 1930’s and 40’s. I wrote a book entitled, "Sagebrush Memories", where I imagined old actors reminiscing about playing the classic western roles. For example:

THE GOOD GUY

“I rode in, cleaned up the town, and rode out. Sometimes I’d sing.”

There are longer reminiscences. I just wanted to whet (or is it wet?) your appetite.

I also, forgive me, have a political point of view. I’ve written a book entitled "Both Sides Make Me Angry." That pretty much covers where I stand. I just want things to make sense, and a lot of time, they don’t. For example, when a Supreme Court nominee, a judge, whose decisions have leaned consistently to the Left or to the Right is asked at the confirmation hearing, “Can you be impartial?”, isn’t the only truthful answer to that question, “Well, I haven’t been so far.”?

Sorry about the punctuation; I think I was sick when they taught it. What else? I’ll try and be interesting, I’ll try and be entertaining, I’ll try and be insightful without being, you know, wrong. It’s hard to talk about stuff I haven’t written yet, but hopefully, this thing’ll be worth your time. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll come up with things that will surprise us both.

See you around, I hope.

Earl Pomerantz

38 comments:

N.D. said...

Oh, Earl, I'm know you'll saying something so amazing that we'll email our friends, who don't know anything about being funny, to read your blog, and they’ll think it’s funny too!

Alan said...

excellent...so far

Rachel said...

Can't wait to read more! Rooster

Wayne said...

I would very much like to be able to Netflix "Cannibal Girls" but, Alas, I cannot. A search informs me that "Cannibal Rollerbabes" appears to be the closest thing, so I will rent that instead. Looking forward to more posts, Earl!

Anonymous said...

Know you, know your work, and have laughed with and at both. Glad you're blogging!

PIdge said...

Earl
Remember when we rode horseback through the Alberta Rockies singing every old cowboy song ever written? Or when you and my dad used to 'take cover' behind the living room chairs to ambush the outlaws on the TV?
As for CG.....why do you suppose Ivan Reitman never acknowledges that one or his earlier flick, Foxy Lady? I guess he's had all the copies burned. Love,
Pidge (the spouse of another appetizer)

GrangerBaxters said...

You go man!!! This will be fun, but you have to keep it up, at least until Opening Day (April 3rd - burrrrr) By that date I will have a life, but only 'til Labor Day!!! Rita

don-eduardo in the desert said...

Happy you have decided to land in cyberspace although it is difficult to imagine you and William Gibson (no relation to Hoot I'm sure) operating on the same spread. Looking forward to reading your recent thoughts and telling of old tales. Good luck!
don-eduardo
PS I still think your book would sell if you renamed it, "A Canadian's Manifesto."

anna said...

Dad,
Your blog is so much better than mine, its not fair...and mine has pictures!
love,
ABP

Jim E. Ceb said...

it's great to have another writer whose work I admire on the web...look forward to reading more.

Barefoot Billy Aloha said...

There is immense joy in watching B-westerns, like John Wayne's Republic pictures: shot like a high school kid's hobby pieces - genuine, without grace and morally straight.

I visit the Owens Valley and Eastern Sierra several times each year for camping and hiking with the family. We always visit Lone Pine and the nearby Alabama Hills. Gabby and Randolph are always nearby. I'll tell 'em "hi" from you next time.

RAC said...

Mr. Pomerantz,

I didn't know what to expect when Ken Levine sent me over here to read your blog, but not only did I laugh, I got some T & A out of it. Thank you!

Ger Apeldoorn said...

Great to have you on the web, Mr. Pomerantz. I am a big fan of your work and am looking forward to your stories about working in the funny business.

Gail Renard said...

Welcome to cyberspace and now I'll have another grand work displacement activity! I too was brought up in Canada (Montreal) and am now a comedy writer in London, England. Your work has given me constant pleasure on two continents. But one question that the IMDB doesn't answer: didn't you work with Wayne and Shuster? Either writing and/ or performing? For the unintiated, Wayne and Shuster were one of the few double-acts in Canada in the 60s... who are we kidding? They were the only ones! And very noble they were too. I look forward to reading your posts. Happy blogging!

Diogo said...

Welcome to the Blogs Earl. I'm a big fan of some of the things you've written. Hopefully you could share some stories about working on classic shows like Taxi, MTM, or Cheers. Hope this blog goes for a long time.

Bashman said...

Cannibal Girls might be a crummy movie, but at least you got to work with Ivan Reitman, Eugene Levy and Andrea Martin. I hope that you will share some stories about them.

The Curmudgeon said...

Oh this is a catastrophe.

If you're half as good as Levine I'll have to read you every day too and I'll never get any work done.

P.S. -- I notice your word verification is shorter than Mr. Levine's (only four letters on mine). Maybe if you write a few more posts yours will get longer, too.

olucy said...

Studying philosophy in L.A.! Good stuff!

And imdb shows you as "Third Victim" in Cannibal Girls, so you probably want to correct that.

Looking forward to your blog!

VP81955 said...

You're off to a nice start, Earl, and I wish you well. Looking forward to some of your comments and stories about writing for the likes of "MTM."

And since you like old movies, may I cordially invite you to check out my blog, "Carole & Co.," dedicated to the lady in the avatar in particular and classic Hollywood in general. You'll find all sorts of information and rare photos. (Use the http:// prefix, of course.)

community.livejournal.com/carole_and_co/

Tim Susman said...

Welcome! I recognize your name from "Cheers" and am looking forward to seeing more of your writing. Glad to hear you're still studying--I'm also a perpetual student.

(and my word verification had eight letters, whatever that means...)

Dave Olden said...

Everyone used up all the early welcome comments.

So, this is the last prompt welcome you'll get.

Cheers.

diane said...

Welcome to blogging, Earl. Looking forward to many more entries on your blog. I have no doubt yours will be entertaining. Nice to have contact with someone whose work I have very much enjoyed.

Max Clarke said...

Thanks for taking the time to write, you wrote some of my favorite episodes of Cheers, such as Sam's Women. I still chuckle at some of the lines.

The patron from Seattle came to see Gus, who turns out to be not only a former owner, but now dead. The patron says, Gus had all the answers. Carla adds, All but one.

Diane asks the guys, what would they do after they had all the sex they wanted? Norm replies thoughtfully, I'd help the poor.

And of course the classic, when Sam tells Diane he never met an intelligent woman he would want to date. Diane replies, On behalf of the intelligent women of the world...whew!

I could go through lines from How Do I Love Thee, too, the audio of the episode is on my Nano.

Great stuff, I look forward to your posts.

wesley mead said...

Bookmarked. Looking forward to reading more posts of yours!

stacey said...

SO much better than Anna's. She only has three comments, and YOU have 25!! (Now, because I commented, see? I did simple math!)

Larry said...

True fact: Ivan Reitman ("Ghostbusters", "Stripes", "Animal House") directed "Cannibal Girls". How bad can it be? Take a look on YouTube. Welcome to blogging, Earl.

45 is the new 30 said...

Welcome to the blogosphere! I look forward to stopping by; I particularly look forward to any stories you care to share about writing for some of my favorite shows.

Nice to see some of the crew from Ken Levine's "cyber-hood" here - you can definitely expect some pithy, interesting comments!

Anea Barer said...

I was brought to your blog via Ken Levine's and have been a generally non-posting reader over there for quite a while now. At his endorsement I came to check you out and enjoyed what I have reaad so far a great deal. I have added you to my favorites so you better keep writing! :)
All the best.

RevJen said...

Welcome to blogland, Earl. I came over because Ken Levine told me to. Ken Levine doesn't know who I am, but I read his blog. Now you don't know who I am. But I'll read yours, too.

Have fun with it!

emily litella said...

You can expect pithy comments?

Why would people stoop so low as to pith and moan on this brand new blog.

That really pith's me off.

Oh. Nevermind.

Dogtown said...

This is a great find. I too linked to it froom Ken Leveine's blog. Many of the best blogs I read are from writers like yourself, and I get the added satisfaction of it being by the guy who brought me some of the best entertainment of my life.

See ya again, daily.

Anonymous said...

This isn't just a semi-annual thing is it?

AO said...

Congratulations!!! Not only funny but educational. "Cannibal Girls?"

Andrew

Anonymous said...

Earl,

I'm sorry you missed the delicious sandwiches the first day they officially shifted us over to Fox. No control, and no luck.

See you tomorrow, back at sandwich-less Fox.

George

Saladin Patterson said...

Earl,
Finally someone who's funnier and sexier than Nikke Finke!

nu nu said...

Here is the gist, a practical list of 'don'ts' for you. Don't throw bouquets at me. Don't please my folks too much. Don't laugh at my jokes too much.

Anonymous said...

Hi Earl,
I found your blog. I am back from the Ranch, and now you are too. Re-entry wasn't too bad. At the moment, my husband is photographing two hounds downstairs. Pet portraits are a big thing. They got the paint colors in the living room wrong, while I was at the Ranch, but hey, it's only paint.
Can't wait to hear about Otto and life on the lines and in the Craftsman.
Judith

andrew said...

ken levine talked about his experiences working on cheers and mash. would you care to share yours on one of my all time favorite sitcoms, TAXI?

i love that story where reverend jim went back home after learning that his dad died..touching and funny.

what was it like breaking a taxi story?