“If there were an award for “Hypersensitive Overreaction”, I’d
be a “Certifiable Finalist.” I
apparently over-identify with failure. I
view success, ot with exultatio but wit relief.
I ave to stop writig ow.
Tree letters o m computer have stopped workig.
I mea it!”
There is little that is more pathetic, after
paying top dollar for great seats at a performance of a circus internationally
celebrated as “The Greatest Show On Earth” than a person saying, peering
coweringly into his lap,
“I can’t look.”
That was me.
What was I doing there?
What was I doing there?
Backstory: Rachel
found out that the world-famous Ringling
Brothers Barnum and Bailey circus was in town and she wondered if we would
care to join her and husband Tim, two and three-quarter year-old Milo and
three-month-old Jack at a mid-morning performance. We immediately said “Yes!” though with that company we’d have said “Yes!” to anything.
“We’re going to get the car
washed. You wanna come?”
“Sure!”
We really like those guys. Is what I’m saying.
As a couple, our distinct preference is for the folksy
ambiance of little circuses. We have attended the Togni Brothers Circus, in Como, Italy (just after the Togni
Brothers had broken up, leaving us to watch what appeared to be the less
proficient of the divied up entertainers), the La Porte Indiana County Fair Circus (where we had to leave at
intermission due to an enjoyment-sapping infestation of mosquitoes – INDIANA-BORN
USHER: “I’m surprised you lasted that long.”) and California’s Pickle Family Circus (which was
perfect.)
But, greatly appreciating the
invitation, it was “Big Circus here we come.”
As we approached the circus’s Staples Center venue, we were bombarded by picketers opposing the
mistreatment of animals. There were no
picketers, it should be reported, favoring
the mistreatment of animals, though by the picketers’ standards, those would
include everyone buying a ticket to the circus.
It is not in me to
object vigorously to their passionate concern.
But to me – and not being an actual jungle animal I am necessarily
anthropomorphizing – well… I once wrote an Interview
With A Giraffe (which is in here somewhere) in which the giraffe-interviewee,
dreading their imminent return to “the Wild”, when queried about the liberating
option of “freedom”, insightfully replied,
“Freedom’s just another word for
running for your life.”
In some ways, the “Circus” alternative appears pampering by
contrast.
CIRCUS ANIMAL: “They feed us, they bathe us, they brush our
hair and they give us treats all the time.
So we hop on our back legs for a few seconds, and yeah, sometimes their particular
training techniques are not all that appreciated. But, compared to being ripped to shreds by
our natural predators… we’ll take this.”
(Which reminds me of the book that all the animals carry
with them called Who Eats Who, so
when they see an animal they don’t recognize they can check the book and find
out whether to run after them or run away from them. Which reminds me of the Lion King song, “The Circle of Life”, which celebrates being eaten
by the appropriate animal rather than
by hyenas. The End.)
The entire outing was intendedly Milo-centric, as Baby Jack
is at this point fully occupied adjusting to his extra-utero environment and focusing his eyes. Overall, Milo appeared not quite ready for
the circus’s stimular onslaught, though he was visibly transported by the
motorcycle act.
As for me, well… I had surmised it was an impending heart
procedure that made me a “Fraidy Cat” at a pre-surgery performance of Cirque Du Soleil. It turns out, however, I am just naturally
terrified.
I don’t know why other people find entertainment in the
perilous activities of others – and judging by the audience’s enthusiasm, the
majority of people do – but somehow,
this curious enthusiasm eludes me.
Unlike the under-three year-old Milo who balked stubbornly
only at the “Big Cats” presentation – demanding a temporary extraction from the
premises – I was, by contrast, upset
by virtually everything, though, as a
adult, I was compelled to remain in my seat, gazing distractingly at my jeans.
Everything felt life-endangering. The seven motorcyclists speeding around in
intricate patterns inside the perilously constricted “Globe of Steel”, the aerialists
swinging way up by the ceiling, the equestrians racing their horses at
break-neck speed, as they slid under their bellies and, grazed by galloping
hoofs, worked their way up the other side.
Where were their mother’s, I kept wondering, hollering, “Stop
that! You’ll kill yourself!” I find it death-defying crossing a really
wide thoroughfare on foot. These crazies
risked their mortality before lunch.
I also realize that it was not just challenging death that
upset me; it was also humiliation. There
was this cohort of women, flinging these sort of barbell-shaped objects high in
the air and then catching and balancing them on narrow strings with
unbelievable dexterity. I could barely look
at them either.
What if one of them dropped one, I agonized? Would they get yelled at? Would they get fired? Would they get demoted to the clown
contingent, forced into red noses and floppy shoes, offering in uninspired foolishness
to an uncaring crowd?
Why did their fate concern me? I have no idea. You would think dying would be more serious
than the shame of dropping a thing off a string. But the way my “fear sensors” reacted, they
felt disturbingly the same.
“If there were an award for “Hypersensitive Overreaction”, I’d
be a “Certifiable Finalist.” I
apparently over-identify with failure. I
view success, ot with exultatio but wit relief.
I ave to stop writig ow.
Tree letters o m computer have stopped workig.
I mea it!”