It happened last Thanksgiving.
Though it has been happening a lot lately.
Not to burden you with my affliction, but I have been
coughing – less now than before – since September the Ninth. At around eight in the evening. I remember the day. And the approximate time. It is not
like I’m prescient. “I shall now begin
an extended period of coughing.” It’s just that when a doctor asked me, “When
did this start?” and I thought back pensively and said, “September the Ninth. Around eight in the evening.” Though it could easily have been seven.
Anyway…
What I noticed was that a time I coughed most reliably was
when I was talking, the flurries of coughs arriving between words, towards the
end of my sentences, most especially the longer
ones. The longer sentences, not the longer flurries of coughs. (Though you probably knew that.)
Sensibly, I believe, I decided to talk shorter, based on the principle:
“Less talking, less coughing.”
And that’s when I noticed it.
You know what it was?
I noticed I talk way, way
too much!
For various reasons, summarized by the encompassing “liking
the sound of my own voice”, I talk when, upon further consideration, it is
unnecessary to do so. (Note: Full “List of Reasons” upon request. I am trying to write as succinctly as I talk.)
Okay, so it’s Thanksgiving Evening. The banquet (Dr. M, at her finest) is
over. People start to relax, holding
forth, among other things – Oy – on their political beliefs.
The most incendiary claim, fueled, I think, more by
anguished frustration than thoughtful conclusion, I hear,
“All Republicans are racists.”
Now normally, I would respond to that, eagerly opining,
“First of all, not all Republicans are Trump supports. Second of all, not all Trump supporters are
racists. Although I grant you all
racists appear to be Trump supporters. (LIGHTENING
WITH LEVITY) There were no ‘Skinheads
For Hillary’ bumper stickers in 2016.”
That’s what I normally would have said. Because I believe it, and I feel the world
would be less wise without my clarifying perspective.
You know what I said that
time?
Nothing.
Hoping my reaction would not be seen as agreement, I simply
sat there, unspeaking.
Why?
Not because I was
loath to cause trouble. I’ve caused trouble
before. In the past, my opinions have
set off eye-rolling gyrations.
Why did I not speak up that
time? Because – thanks for waiting, for
those who got there before me –
I did not want to cough.
And you know what?
What I was going to tell
them?
Nobody missed it.
Will the message of “Speak only the minimum” persist when I
get better?
I doubt it.
But I have seen “The Right Path.”
Quoting Paul Simon, in a differing context I am unable to
decipher as I am with virtually all
Paul Simon lyrics,
It is the sound of silence.
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