"The Final Authority"

Clarifying background:

From Preschool till the end of Grade Seven, I went to a Jewish Parochial School (which they jokingly called “Pinocchio School” due to the size of our noses.)  In Parochial School, there was only one way to be Jewish.  Their way.  No room for questions, skepticism or doubt.  It was “The sea parted, and if you don’t believe it, you will stay in till six!”

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That was my training.  There were strict rules, made by “not us”, and everyone followed those rules.  If we didn’t, there were angry calls to our parents.  And possibly God.

Just so you know where I’m coming from.

Now.

We are dining with a friend at a Japanese restaurant.  The waiter’s taking our order.  The friend asks, “Do the meat dumplings contain pork?”  The waiter says, “Yes.”  The friend immediately moves on, explaining, “I don’t eat pork.”

For the untutored in such matters, Jewish dietary law forbids the eating of pork.  Intrigued by our friend’s quaintly “sticking to the program”, I ask, “Do you also not eat shellfish?”  (Jewish dietary law also forbids the eating of shellfish.)

The friend replies,

“I eat shellfish.”

FREEZE FRAME  (For my own protection, because I can feel myself “making a face”, and I do not want that face in this post.  Bad enough there were shameful glimmers of it in person.)

I mean, “Pork – No.”  But “Shellfish – Yes”?

How do you make that distinction?  (Ergo, “The Face.”)

Pork and shellfish are equally proscribed.  Yet she found some magical way of deciding they weren’t.  It seemed like she was making the rules up herself.  And even those were confusing.  I mean, if you were going to give in the shellfish, why not, you should pardon the expression, go “Whole hog”?

For the record, I eat neither shellfish nor pork, which, if not “right” is at least more consistent.  To me, if you decide you are going to…

Wait!

I eat cheeseburgers!

(Jewish dietary law forbids mixing meat with dairy.) 

And now I’m off the bus.  One stop down the line from “Pork – No.  Shellfish – Yes.”

As they say in the baseball interview show Intentional Talk,

“Got heeemmmmmm!” 

(It was remarkable how I forgot that inconsistency of my own.  Is there no ”Face” for me?) 

Here’s the thing. 

Unlike in Hebrew School, where it was “One size fits all” (or possibly nobody), today, everyone decides what they will do, picking and choosing as they proceed.  (Hence, the term “Cafeteria Catholic”, or “Smorgasbord Jew”, which I made up, but it fits.)  Forget the Talmud.  This is “The Law According to Larry.”

“We eat pork, but just “out.”

“What about leftovers?”

“They go home.  But we eat from the carton.”

This extended trivial example reflects a meaningful change in our overall culture. Today, everyone decides for themselves.  And not just about shellfish.  Though lacking technical training or factual proof, people still believe their opinion’s as good as anyone else’s, except the actual expert’s opinion, which is instantly dismissed, because “Who do they think they are?” 

This isn’t about “one over the other”; it’s about virulent extremes.  And in that sense, the winds have definitely shifted.

Once, the"Law of the Land" was passive acceptance.  (To institutional decree.)

And that wasn’t much fun.

But “Us”, as the “Final Authority” on everything?

How exactly is that doing?

(Note:  This is a post where I intended to go deeper, but I ran out of time, and wisdom.  We are probably all better off.  Nobody comes here for “deeper.”  But “Everyone decides everything for themselves”?  Something’s happening there.  You will just have to go elsewhere to learn what.)