"Upcoming High Holidays"

As with all religions - except the ones where the punishment for "freelancing" is death - everybody is Jewish in their own way.

At camp I wrote a show about a "Bar Mitzvah Boy" having serious doubts about the whole traditional "Rite of Passage", feeling little spiritual connection to what appears to be just a massive, expensive party.

Described by me, thusly:  (To the borrowed tune of "Tzena, Tzena.")

"Alan's having a Bar Mitzvah
Everyone is here and it's a
Very nice affair.

While the orchestra is playing
You can hear the people saying,
"Very nice affair."

Give a look, it's Uncle Max and Hattie
Flew in all the way from Cin-cin-natti.  
Jake's been drinking like there's no tomorrow
Someone better take him home.

Harry's paying for the whole production 
He can always use it as a tax deduction
When it's over no one will forget the 
Splendor of the Liebowitz Bar Mitzvah."

The play then "travels" the rebellious Alan through various vignettes of historical Jewish oppression - examples, sadly, not difficult to come by - and in the end, Alan returns from his "transporting" experience with a sustaining idea of what his connection to his people is essentially about.

The show ends with this song which explains how, though my religious enthusiasm flame burns perilously low, I find myself shelling out for High Holiday tickets for the upcoming services.

(The a tune borrowed from the title song of the 1966 musical "It's a Bird, It's a Plane... It's Superman")

"It's Sabbath and you're sitting in the synagogue,
The man behind you's singing like a wounded frog,
The rabbi's sermon's very deep,
The congregation falls asleep,
But deep inside they'll try to keep
To-ge-ther...

Every time we pray, we really only say
'Togetherness.'
Oftener than not, we're happy that we've got
'Togetherness.'
When David slew Goliath dead,
And with a sword cut off his head,
That's when the Jews ran up and said,
'Together-ness'....

When Jonah lived inside a fish:
'Togetherness'
And every time we eat a knish:
'Togetherness'
We show we're members of a group
With every bowl of chicken soup,
Let's really hear it, give a whoop - 
'To-ge-ther.'..

Every time we pray, we really only say
'Togetherness.'
Oftener than not we're happy that we've got
'Togetherness.'

So when you're out and on your own
You're never really all alone,
Remember when that Shofar's blown
'Toge-ther-ness.'" 

That's all I've got.

I asked my not particularly religious mother once  "Why do you go to synagogue on the High Holidays?" and she said,

"That's where the Jews are."

And so they are.

Together.

Happy upcoming New Year to all who participate.  And to all others, I will see you on the other side.

Wow, that sounded ominous.

I meant after the holidays.

L'shana Tova.

And good luck with that "Book of Life" inscription.

Fingers crossed.

Or is that a different religion?