"Hillary Loses The Election; NFL Football Ratings Are Down"

Everyone likes reasons.  I believe.  Though I have engaged in no polling on the matter.  Although considering the current reputation of polling… never mind. 

No, I mean, really!  If you can’t believe who you’re supposed to believe, who then are you supposed to believe?  The guy who says “We’re winning Pennsylvania” when he’s “nine points down in Pennsylvania”?  I guess so.  The guy won Pennsylvania.

Okay, enough about that.  Though it’s like a bump in my mouth I can’t help visiting with my tongue.

Reasons feel good because they are a definitive “Case closed.”  What happened may have been bad – catastrophic even – but at least we know why it happened, giving us, first, an answer, second, a sense that the world in general makes sense in its occurrences, and third, we have, learning from its example, the hope of avoiding similar catastrophes in the future.  (I almost forgot what “Third” was, not uncommon when an Old Guy embarks on offering a list.)

Reasons are easy.  Wait, did I say “Reasons are easy”?  Wrong.   Sometimes, reasons are impossible. 

Regular readers are aware that two summers ago, I contracted “Legionnaires’ Disease.”  Why?  No one has any idea.  Which dissatisfied me and sat even more poorly with the representative from the Center For Disease Control who called to ask how I got “Legionnaires’ Disease” it and I replied, “No idea.”  He said, “Thank you”, but his identifiable tone implied, “Well you’re no help!” 

Like I got an inexplicable illness on purpose. 

Sometimes, reasons are impossible.  Other times, reasons are ubiquitous.  Which, in its way, is equally unhelpful. 

 

Everyone likes reasons.  I believe.  Though I have engaged in no polling on the matter.  Although considering the current reputation of polling… never mind. 

No, I mean, really!  If you can’t believe who you’re supposed to believe, who then are you supposed to believe?  The guy who says “We’re winning Pennsylvania” when he’s “nine points down in Pennsylvania”?  I guess so.  The guy won Pennsylvania.

Okay, enough about that.  Though it’s like a bump in my mouth I can’t help visiting with my tongue.

Reasons feel good because they are a definitive “Case closed.”  What happened may have been bad – catastrophic even – but at least we know why it happened, giving us, first, an answer, second, a sense that the world in general makes sense in its occurrences, and third, we have, learning from its example, the hope of avoiding similar catastrophes in the future.  (I almost forgot what “Third” was, not uncommon when an Old Guy embarks on offering a list.)

Reasons are easy.  Wait, did I say “Reasons are easy”?  Wrong.   Sometimes, reasons are impossible. 

Regular readers are aware that two summers ago, I contracted “Legionnaires’ Disease.”  Why?  No one has any idea.  Which dissatisfied me and sat even more poorly with the representative from the Center For Disease Control who called to ask how I got “Legionnaires’ Disease” it and I replied, “No idea.”  He said, “Thank you”, but his identifiable tone implied, “Well you’re no help!” 

Like I got an inexplicable illness on purpose. 

Sometimes, reasons are impossible.  Other times, reasons are ubiquitous.  Which, in its way, is equally unhelpful. 

 

Everyone likes reasons.  I believe.  Though I have engaged in no polling on the matter.  Although considering the current reputation of polling… never mind. 

No, I mean, really!  If you can’t believe who you’re supposed to believe, who then are you supposed to believe?  The guy who says “We’re winning Pennsylvania” when he’s “nine points down in Pennsylvania”?  I guess so.  The guy won Pennsylvania.

Okay, enough about that.  Though it’s like a bump in my mouth I can’t help visiting with my tongue.

Reasons feel good because they are a definitive “Case closed.”  What happened may have been bad – catastrophic even – but at least we know why it happened, giving us, first, an answer, second, a sense that the world in general makes sense in its occurrences, and third, we have, learning from its example, the hope of avoiding similar catastrophes in the future.  (I almost forgot what “Third” was, not uncommon when an Old Guy embarks on offering a list.)

Reasons are easy.  Wait, did I say “Reasons are easy”?  Wrong.   Sometimes, reasons are impossible. 

Regular readers are aware that two summers ago, I contracted “Legionnaires’ Disease.”  Why?  No one has any idea.  Which dissatisfied me and sat even more poorly with the representative from the Center For Disease Control who called to ask how I got “Legionnaires’ Disease” it and I replied, “No idea.”  He said, “Thank you”, but his identifiable tone implied, “Well you’re no help!” 

Like I got an inexplicable illness on purpose. 

Sometimes, reasons are impossible.  Other times, reasons are ubiquitous.  Which, in its way, is equally unhelpful. 

 

Two examples.  Demonstrating the problem is everywhere.  And taking my mind off my troubles, half of the time.Everyone likes reasons.  I believe.  Though I have engaged in no polling on the matter.  Although considering the current reputation of polling… never mind. 

No, I mean, really!  If you can’t believe who you’re supposed to believe, who then are you supposed to believe?  The guy who says “We’re winning Pennsylvania” when he’s “nine points down in Pennsylvania”?  I guess so.  The guy won Pennsylvania.

Okay, enough about that.  Though it’s like a bump in my mouth I can’t help visiting with my tongue.

Reasons feel good because they are a definitive “Case closed.”  What happened may have been bad – catastrophic even – but at least we know why it happened, giving us, first, an answer, second, a sense that the world in general makes sense in its occurrences, and third, we have, learning from its example, the hope of avoiding similar catastrophes in the future.  (I almost forgot what “Third” was, not uncommon when an Old Guy embarks on offering a list.)

Reasons are easy.  Wait, did I say “Reasons are easy”?  Wrong.   Sometimes, reasons are impossible. 

Regular readers are aware that two summers ago, I contracted “Legionnaires’ Disease.”  Why?  No one has any idea.  Which dissatisfied me and sat even more poorly with the representative from the Center For Disease Control who called to ask how I got “Legionnaires’ Disease” it and I replied, “No idea.”  He said, “Thank you”, but his identifiable tone implied, “Well you’re no help!” 

Like I got an inexplicable illness on purpose. 

Sometimes, reasons are impossible.  Other times, reasons are ubiquitous.  Which, in its way, is equally unhelpful. 

 

Two examples.  Showing the "multiple reasons" problem is everywhere.  And shifting my mind from my current concerns, fifty percent of the time.

“Hillary Loses the Election; NFL Football Ratings Are Down”

Reasons *:  (* A partial, highly subjective compilation)

Lackluster candidate.

Indifferent performances on the field.

Misreading the anger.

“Fantasy Football’s” emphasis on individual statistics has superseding fan-built identification with the teams.

Her opponent’s free ride from the media, concerning attitude, factual inaccuracies and personal behavior.

The games are over-officiated.

Too identified with Wall Street.

People watching on their phones, not on their televisions.

Enduring e-mail irregularities.

Where are the superstars?  Where’s “Hacksaw” Reynolds?  Where’s “Mean” Joe Greene?

They wouldn’t vote for a woman.

The league’s tarnishing reputation because of injuries (especially head injuries), accusations of domestic abuse, gun violations and sitting down during the “Anthem.”

Conflated decent conservatives with “Basket of Deplorables.”

Too many televised games – Sunday Night Football.  Monday Night Football.  Thursday Night Football.

Oppressive “Clinton Fatigue.”

Uninteresting match-ups.

In presidential elections, emotion inevitably tops intellect the way rock inevitably covers paper.

Sleep-inducing announcers.  What happened to “Hawad”?

People looking for a Daddy, not a Grandma.

Fully inflated footballs are harder to control.

Okay, how many is that? – Ten on each issue?  Plenty.  Not that there aren’t numerous additions to the list.  (“When he went low, she went high… and he won.”  “As a game, NFL football is inferior to Canadian football.”  Stop laughing.  It is.)

Question:  Which is the determining reason Hillary lost and NFL football is down? 

Answer:  The one you most identify with.  Which does not make it “determining”, just determining to you.

No definitive answer?

No visceral satisfaction.

And we are left in the darkness –

Looking for comfort.

Or, in the other example, feeling ripped off for spending millions advertising on football.

Which may be the first time I ever identified with sponsors.